in this darkness you are my light.

How long did it take to find someone after that?

I believe that it took us 2 months and 5 close encounters before we found people again.  It was then that i started to feel you werent my Star anymore.  WE ran into a group teenagers.  4 boys, and 2 girls.  You were so happy to see people are age alive and kicking, I just couldnt take that joy from you.  We spent weeks with them, and they all got so friendly with you especially this one guy who obviously wished i had died in the outbreak.  He was stealing my Star away from me, and you were okay with that it seemed.  I didnt want to see your smile leave so i just let it happened, and in the moment i saw him steal a treasured kiss from you i regreted letting him take you away from me.  Then the most unexpected thing happened, one of the other girls admitted that she had had her eye on me ever since we got there.  So I pertended to care about her so you would be happy.  I also found out a lot of useful information.  Like how all 4 of those guys were her brothers (and that's probably why she took interest in me).  Then one day you saw her kiss me, and you ran right over, and  punched her square in the jaw, i was so confused i didnt even realize you two were fighting until they were pulling you two apart.  You stared at me, and yelled "How could you let her kiss you."  All i could do was yell back, and say  Well then how could you let that jock kiss you?  You didnt even talk to me for two whole days after that.  Then you came over, and explained to me.  You told me that you only let him love you, because you thought i liked being with the other teenagers, and you thought that was the only way we could stay.  Thats when I explained to you the only reason I let her love me is so that you could stay because i believed you loved being with other people.  That's when we both decided to leave together, just the two of us.  Do you remember that?  We drove a long way before you broke down crying.  I begged to know what was wrong, but then you just started laughing.  I dont believe i will ever understand you.  all you said was, "You always treated me like a queen, i'm such a horrible person avoiding you and all, but youre the best friend I could ever have."  Remember in how that moment we looked at each other on that straight road.  We were so focused looking at eachother I didnt even see the monster until I ran it right over. OOPS! We laughed for minutes without end until you said words that changed the whole way about how i felt, and you didnt even realize what you said.  It simply was "I love you my precious Jack."  I looked at the road, and kept on driving with those 6 words my whole perspective of protecting you raised to a whole nother level.  You were someone that I loved, and I would rather sacrifice myself so you could live.  Before it was so much less than that I wanted to live, and i didnt know if i was willing to give myself up to save you or not, but in that moment i knew i would in a heartbeat.  We drove until you took over so i could get some sleep.  I didnt realize how long i had slept,  until sun pored through the windows of the car.  I woke up to hear you humming a song a hadnt heard in a long time.  You were humming "This little light of mine".  It instintly took me back to sunday school as a young child where we were all sinning. "This little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine.  This little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine let it shine let it shine."  Those were the good old days.  We didnt have those great days anymore, but you can sure bet we had good ones.  Remember the time when i actually took you on a picnic right by the river.  We just sat there ate, cleaned up are food, and laughed so hard.  We gathered everything up put it in the car, and set off driving again.