I looked out the window and saw a familiar van approach my drive way and at that moment my heart started to beat to a particular rhythm that it knew so well whenever she was near. But it all changed as I only saw her driver Manong Alan get out of the car. He reached into the trunk and grabbed what appeared to be a box. Before knowing it, I reached for the door and welcomed him at the gate. He gave a courteous smile and said a friendly hello then gave me the box. Not much was said and he was quickly in the car and left.
No one was home, Ken was out with some friends and the maids were on their day off. Jalal and Fred mentioned they would come later. It was just me. Afraid to open the box, I saw the note. I took one deep breathe and read it, repeatedly. I slumped on the couch and felt a knot in my heart as tears began to shed. Memories of our last night came running through my mind.
Flashback
It was the middle of October and so much of the media were focused on what happen between Sarah and I. From me guesting on her show to the Cebuana event, everyone had their assumptions. It's been a while since we last saw each other and I missed her. She was currently at a pictorial and I had asked permission from her parents to see and talk to her. They agreed and I was relieved. I knew that they weren't too happy with the recent press releases and I'm sure they've gotten word on what's to come next. Sarah didn't know I was there to pick her up. I waved hi, but she gave me a blank stare. I knew then that she had found out. She walked right pass me but I grabbed her arm to stop her. Again, she gave me a blank stare, my stomach was in knots and my heart shattered into pieces. She sighed and not one word was said. I let go of her arm and she followed me to my car.
No one spoke as we were securely in the car. I repeatedly stole glimpses at her but she was constantly looking out the window, avoiding any eye contact. She looked hurt and it killed me knowing that I was the cause of her pain. We reached our favorite destination, a hidden spot only known to us. Free from the city and free from the prying eyes of the media. I stopped the car and before I can say anything she asked me, "Is it true?"
She slowly looked my way and tears were already falling from her eyes. I took her hand and kissed it. Before I knew it, I was crying and the only thing I can say was "I'm sorry."
I can still feel sting on my cheek as she slapped me. My heart broke for her and I couldn't help but cry also. I hurt her and hurt myself in the process. After she had no will to yell and the hitting has stopped, she sobbed and asked to be dropped home. I couldn't speak as my mind was still in shock of how things ended with the two of us. Pain stricken, I gripped the wheel and started the car. The entire ride to her home, I cried silently. As we reached her home, I again grabbed her arm, wanting her to look at me. But her head was down, and she snatched her arm away and walked into her house. I knew, nothing will ever be the same.
End of flashback
I opened the box and everything that I had given her was there. What caught my eye was the blue box. I opened it and there it was, the diamond promise ring I gave her. It symbolized my promise to protect her, to love her, and our friendship. But I failed. Slowly turning the ring and remembering how beautifully it fit on her finger, I read the inscription, "my heart, my forever." I kissed the ring and placed it back in the box as my eyes watered.
I lost my heart, my trust in management, and the will to continue showbiz, but more importantly the woman who not only has my heart, but the friendship that I longed for all these years. I knew the chance of even being friends was slim. My phone rang which took me out of my reverie and though wanting to ignore it, I couldn't. I placed the top back on the box and hid it in on the far corner of my bedroom closet.
I picked up the phone, though it wasn't my Sarah, I had to think positive and give us "time." But I will continue to pray every day hoping in time she's back in my life and hoping that this broken feeling will someday be healed.Trying to sound happy, I answered, " hey Maj."
