A Walk in the Woods

Chapter Three

"I am so glad to see you Iris." I hear her voice, still sultry and soft, from behind me. "You are?" I ask, hiding my excitement. I am always excited to see her, too. "Well, of course honey! I always worry if I will see you after you go to those appointments, you know all they want to do is take me away from you." She mumbles. "They won't, Viv." I say, reassuring. "Good, what are we up to today?" She asks me excitedly. "I don't know, I am still tired from being out so late last night." I groan.

"You didn't mention me, did you, Iris?" she asks, panic rising in her voice. "No!" I snap, "I mean, of course not, I almost slipped up but you would have been proud of me. I caught myself. The Doctor wrote me a prescription but I threw it away!" She looked at me with a frown. "You can't let them know about me." She said through gritted teeth.

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My mother freaked out when I told her about Vivian. I was not sure why. Vivian never wanted to come home with me, despite my begging. "Mom, I have made a new friend." I casually told her one day as I ate my cereal. She looked at me in surprise, "Oh you did?" I nodded, "Yes, her name is Vivian." My mother looked at me with a confused expression. "Vivian? That is your name, sweet heart." I laughed. "I don't like my name. I want to be called Iris. Vivian says it suits me more, besides, she likes that name and her name is the same." My mother and I had a little chat about Vivian that night and then I was told to go to bed, we would be going to the doctor tomorrow. "But, mom, I am not sick?" I said. "I know, hun, we just need to get you a check up. Now get to bed, your father should be home soon." I heard them fight all night when he got home. This time he was completely drunk and out of his mind. When I woke the next morning. My mother handed me the address to the doctors office. She rolled up a sleeve when we headed it the door, I stared. "I, uhm, hurt my arm last night." She told me, holding her bruised arm close to her chest. "I need to go to the doctor myself. So, I need you to walk to your doctor today. It is not far." My father has done it again and it angers me. 

As I walked to the doctor, Vivian called out to me. "Iris, wait up!" I stopped and turned to look at her. "Oh, what's wrong?" She asked me. "My father..." I mumble. "Again? He didn't hurt you this time did he?" She exclaims, raising her pitch. "No, just mother." I sigh. "He came home drunk last night and they fought. This morning she had a broken arm or at least severely bruised." This angers Vivian, too. She talks to me often about how easy it would be to rid him of our lives. He tells me often that I am crazy, since he heard of Vivian and tells me she is not real and I am just psychotic because he has never seen her come around, like any friend I have never had. This angers her as well. We talk about how easy life would be without him often.

"Well, where are you walking to?" She asked me. "I have to go to the doctor, my mother tells me I am ill."

"What? How? Why does she think you are ill?"

"I told her about you, she seemed really bothered by it. When we finished talking about you She told me to go to the doctor and get a check up. I don't know, Vivian." I said, walking faster now. "I have to go, I am almost late." She sighs at me. "Meet me at our spot tonight, okay?" With that, she walked away and I continued to walk.

The doctor put me on a new medicine called Sertraline. "Iris, you have a mental disorder. It is called Dissociative Identity Disorder." The doctor said as he wrote on a small yellow slip of paper, scribbling his signature at the bottom. "I hear that you have a new friend, her name is Vivian?" He asks me as he finishes the note. "Yes, what does Vivian have to do with this, doc?" I scoffed. This is stupid. They treat me as if I am stupid. "Surely, you know that is your name right?" He says, "Vivian is not real. She is a fragment of your imagination, Iris. You have been ill for a very long time. Vivian is another personality that you have created over time." I look at him, how dare he accuse me of something like this. "Vivian is my friend, I met her in the woods behind my home. Just because we have the same name doesn't mean she isn't real!!" I start. He smiles pitifully. "Can you feel Vivian when you are with her, Iris? Can you hear her and see her?" He asked me.

"Yes. Well, no, I haven't touched Vivian. I only see her when I leave my house, or at school.. she's shy."

"Why do you leave the house so often, especially late at night?"

"I leave because my parents fight all the time. I need a quiet moment and I need to see Vivian. She makes me feel better about the situation I am in."

"Well, Iris." The doctor says to me as he ripped the note out of the pad. "I would like you to try this medication and see if this helps you with your bad moods and calms your anxiety about your parents quarrels. It will help keep your personality in one place." With that, I grabbed the note and walked out the door.

I had seen Vivian five times in that last week since I met her. But suddenly, after the appointment, she stopped coming around. I waited for her at the spot we meet like she told me to, but she never showed. I waited for her for hours at the bench in the woods. It had been two weeks and I would wait there every night when I got home. Eventually, I had to go home when it got dark.

I quietly walked into my house and slowly shut the door so no noise was made. I was tired. Waiting on Vivian every night for the past week and trying to stay awake in case she showed up was exhausting me. Sometimes I thought I heard her say my name, but when I looked around she was nowhere to be found.

I skipped my medication that night. It made me groggy in the mornings and I wanted to wait for Vivian before I went to school the next day. I flushed the medication in the toilet and went to bed. I lay there thinking of Vivian as sleep took over my body. During the night, something startled me and I jolted awake. "Iris! Wake up, Iris!" A familiar voice speaks to me from the other side of my room. "Vivian! What are you doing here? Where have you been?!" I exclaim, startled. She put her finger up to her lips, hushing me. "Keep it down."

I looked at her, still surprised. "Where have you been? How did you get in here? Why are you here?" She made her way over to me silently and crawled into the bed with me. She laid down and turned to face me. I laid down and turned to face her. "I haven't been able to reach you. I got grounded." She whispered. "What happened at the doctor? What did they do to you?"

"The doctor told me that I needed help keeping my personality in one place. So he put me on medicine. They told me I have a split personality. I don't know what that means. My doctor told me you aren't real.." I trailed of my mumbling. "He put me on medication." I whispered. "Iris, you can't tell anyone about me anymore. I am real." I look at her in shock. "So you're what, a ghost?" I joke. That's insane. "No, Iris, I am real. I am here with you. You can see me. They don't have to meet me to know I'm real." I roll over. "I've never been able to touch you, Vivian." I said, remembering what the doctor had told me. "Touch me then, Iris." she whispered. I rolled back over. She was propped up on her arm, holding her arm out. "Touch my arm." I propped my self up on one arm like her and looked in her eyes. My heart was pounding as I reached my hand out to touch her arm. Her skin was soft and it felt as though electricity shot through my body. She hugged me. I gasped as she grabbed me. "Oh, Iris. I am real. They don't know me like you do. They just want to take me away from you, Iris. They know that you can't be happy without me and that's why they don't want me here. Iris..." She squealed. "Iris, you cannot mention me to anyone. You have to keep our secret. If they know we still see each other, they will keep you from me, they'll put you on those pills again." She looked up at me. "Iris, do you understand?" She asked me, smiling. "Yes, I understand, Vivian."

She leaned towards me, stopping to look me in my eyes. "I know what's best for you, Iris. I'm all yours and you're all mine. No one can break us apart, Iris. Don't ever let them take you from me again." When she finished talking she leaned closer to me and kissed my lips. "Tell me you love me, Iris." She whispered as she laid back down. Still propped up on my arm and shocked, I looked down at her. "W-w-what?" I stuttered. My heart was pounding. "Tell me that you love me. I love you. Don't you love me, too, Iris?" She looked up at me, it seemed she was looking through my body into my soul.

"Yes, I love you, too, Vivian."

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"I know I can't tell them about you Vivian. I didn't I swear." I plead to her.  Her expression fades, she is calm now. "I want Dr. Abbott gone." My heart sinks. "What do you mean?" I ask quietly.

"It's time for another job, Iris. Let me in." She says as she steps closer to me, nose to nose. "Can we talk about this one Vivian?" I beg. "Kiss me, Iris. I love you." She breathes. I reluctantly lean in as she does. I love you, too, Vivian.