The pretty girl

new start

April's POV
I need to focus on the present I say to myself but I can feel the burn of tears prickling the corners of my eyes ,threatening to spill out.All I could think was that it should've been me going on dates with Tarell.I sound selfish and all but I can't help it.Who am I kidding?Even if he had asked me out I wouldn't have done anything.I've never been on a date.I'm fifteen for crying out loud.All I do is daydream. I'm scared of boys actually not only them,I'm scared of everyone except my friends.All I want to do is just fess up some courage and say hi but I suck huh?I talk a lot when I'm on whatsapp.Writing has always been the way for me to say what I truly feel but I don't know how to now.I think everything has changed.Back at school,in middle school I was a little isolated and didn't like people.Those were all misunderstandings and trust me when I say that's what I hate the most.I crushed on Tarell for almost six years.I never said anything.To be honest whenever he did anything ,even mutter a hi to me I would feel like I was on cloud nine.I was young by then but I couldn't stop those feelings. I was also crushing on GU Jun Pyo from boys over flowers and that helped me a lot as I wouldn't spend all my time thinking about Tarell.I was quite intelligent but uh I don't want to admit it haha.You could call me a nerd but err anyway it's ok.I always heard these rumors that I was the prettiest girl.I tried to brush those rumors aside but I couldn't help blushing whenever I heard that.The pretty girl is supposed to have a lot of friends but in my case it was quite the opposite. I admit that my mom is veracious but I don't think that's it.I remember one time when I was playing this game at school and Tarell asked me to hug my best friend for him.That hurt but I brushed it off.I knew that he liked her but I couldn't help it.I never made any moves.I regret not even saying hi or anything.When Fiona told me that he had asked her out I felt my heart breaking into a thousand pieces.I put on a brave face and I congratulated her.I told myself that boys were nothing but distractions but it still hurt.That day was the last I would see Tarell.Probably because we were all going to different schools. I was finally going to high school. That is where the pretty girl became a part of my life.