Letting Go

Chapter 1 A New Beginning

It was a frigid, icy night in Worchester, California on a Friday night.  I could hear the trees’ leaves rustle restlessly and saw the sun dip beneath the peach and rosy pink sky.  Looking to my right, I saw my best friend Carter catch my gaze as I snuck a peek at him for a bit.  His tan face broke into a miniscule smile which made his sea blue eyes crinkle around the edges.

I had met Carter four years ago in our Biology class where we were assigned to be lab partners.  Our friendship grew from there; we both always seemed to laugh together and never really ran out of random things to talk about.  He had grown so much taller than me and towered a good seven inches over my petite 5’2” height. 

Carter and I were currently taking a stroll on a path near the cliffs of the beach.  The wind seeped into my jacket and jeans and caused me to zip my hoodie up and put on the hood.  We stopped at a ruby red wooden bench that faced the sunset and dark, glistening water.  After I sat down, Carter placed himself next to me so that our legs touched which made me wonder if that was on purpose.  

Lately, I had found myself more and more attracted to Carter in a romantic way.  This attraction seemed to creep up slowly until now it was really starting to unfold right then and there.  I felt a pang of nervousness well up inside me and my heartbeat decided to speed up.  Shit. 

“Summer?” Carter’s voice yanked me from my thoughts and nervousness.  Oh, how I loved him saying my name.  It sounded so good in his mouth, coming from his full, soft lips which I glanced at for a few seconds.

“What?” I asked innocently while he shifted so that he was turned toward me more.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Oh, nothing really.  Just things.” I looked into his eyes as I tilted my head slightly to the side.  

"You." I thought.

“I know you better than that.  You have that look on your face.”

“And what look is that?” I asked while I twiddled my hoodie string in my fingers and avoided his eyes. 

“The one you get where you’re deep in your thoughts.”

“Just trying to make sense of things.”

Carter stretched casually which resulted in his hand resting on my knee.  Oh God.  His hand crept up a little bit which gave me the chills and then reached for my hand.  He interlocked my icy fingers with his warm, callused ones all while he looked me in the eyes. 

“Well, can you make any sense of this?” Carter’s voice was low and quiet as he inched towards me so that our faces were almost touching.  My damn heart thudded in my chest.  The moment I had been picturing in my mind was about to happen.

He leaned in even closer until his soft, warm lips met with mine, and we kissed very slowly.  And oh, it felt so good.  We broke apart for just a few seconds just to kiss again.

“I’ve been waiting for this.”  I mumbled under my breath when we pressed our foreheads together.  Carter placed his hands on my cheeks, and I ran my fingers through his unruly hair that was the color of caramel candies. 

“Yeah why haven’t we done this before?”

“Because you were too busy with dating so many other girls.” I rolled my eyes.  It was true; he had dated a number of girls in the past years. 

“Alright, alright there’s no denying that I guess.” 

“I think I may like this.”  I smiled and then went in for more kissing.  I wondered if I’d ever get tired of it.

“You think you may like it?  Well, I need to do more convincing then.”  Carter replied in between breaths.  When the hell did he get so smooth?

Carter deepened the kiss, and our mouths moved in synchronization.   His hand slipped from cupping the sides of my face then moved down to my shoulders. 

“So is this how you convince all of the ladies to like you?”  I stifled a laugh but couldn’t ignore the tingly sensation flowing throughout my body.  A part of me was still so surprised that any of this was happening with Carter.  I wasn’t complaining though.

“Oh hush.”  Carter stated as he shushed me with a finger to my lips. "Summer, I have a serious question."

"What is it?" The no joking around tone that he now had adopted scared me a bit.  Carter was naturally a very relaxed, down to earth person.

"Do you think this is going to work? Are we going to work?"  

"Seriously?  You're already asking that question?  Way to place more doubt in my mind."  I sighed with frustration and worry.

"Well sorry, it's just I don't want to ruin being friends."  

"Stop being so cliched.  Relax okay?  We'll just see where everything goes."   Although I sounded somewhat confident and calm, I had masked my apprehensions from him.  

"You sound like me.  You're always the one who is freaking out, and I am always saying calm down.  Looks like we have switched roles."  

"Guess so.  However, are you willing to try if things get difficult?  You can't walk out on me."  I looked down at my chipped red nail polish.  I had too much experience with people doing that to me.  

"I'll try my best."  Carte cupped my chin in his hands.

“You know, it’s getting pretty cold out here.  We should head home.”  My cheeks and nose felt like I wouldn’t be able to move them soon.  Despite my cold toes, ears, and face I felt a small warmth inside me that bubbled over. 

“Oh now you want to take me home?  So soon.  Is this what you do with all of the men?” Carter joked, and we both laughed together.

 “Yes, of course Carter.” I shook my head.  Even though I didn’t want to leave, we both stood up, and he reached for my hand to hold it.  Carter winked at me, and I couldn’t suppress a smile anymore.  Damn that boy.