Twain Became One

CHAPTER 9: for family

  I keep fighting voices in my mind that say am not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I just the sum of every high and every low, remind me just who I am because I need to know"_ You say (Lauren Diaggle)

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Pamela

"Ekaaro ma," I greeted while yawning. Deji was sitting cross legged beside her with his head hung low.

"Kaaro Temitope mi(morning my Temitope). Sit down let's talk," She gestured towards the open space beside her.
 
"Yes ma." I answered gently and sat.

To avoid looking at her face I looked at the family portraits on the walls. Only one had Shayo in it, we were all putting on the same Silver coloured Cord Lace material and the traditional Aso  oké. Which was made into Caps called Abèti ajá for the males and headgears for the females. The picture was very old and my makeup was horrible, my eye brows were thick and connected like I was Batman and wanted to fly.

 
"Sis Temi ekaaro(good morning)," Deji also greeted. I had a good mind to ignore him and not answer his greeting but you see this thing called - seniority, it comes with responsibility that sometimes you don't get to act like a malice keeping four year old even when you want to.

So like the responsible adult I was I answered through clenched lips, "Morning."

His actions last night hurts me more than he thought, I spent half the night tossing and turning.

"Temi," My mother began shaking her feet in front of her as she usually did when she wanted to say something. I braced myself for the impact of what she was going to say.

"Shayo is gone, she was my daughter and I miss her. We were all at faults she had excesses which we refused to curb them, now we must let go. You are still being bitter about it, no matter how bad you felt you shouldn't have brought up her death in that manner. Was there nothing good about Shayo, that we can't remember the good? Hmmn" Just as I expected she burst into tears.

"Mummy why sis Shayo, why her of all people?" Deji asked crying too.

"Then who, who should it be? Yes, it's true that God is the giver of everything good and beautiful, but he is also our comforter. Why will he comfort us if we are always happy and joyful. It means there will be sad moments,  our pain at times pushes us to serve God more, to love him, to seek him. Deji you have to be better to honour Shayo's memories. Shayo made so many wrong choices and I'm not ready to bury another child."

At this time I was crying.  I have never even bothered to seek God for comfort, we all cried and mourned together.

"Deji, your dad and I, have decided that you will go to Lagos to write your JAMB at my elder brother's place. Change of environment and friends will do you well, Pamela will take you there." She finally got up from her position on the couch and moved towards the kitchen.

"Haaaa mummy, please not  uncle James. my life would be hell" he cried.

"Shut up jor! its true I have indulged you too much as a substitute for loosing shayo, but it has to stop now. Bro James lives in the barrack, the environment is no place to misbehave. Pass your JAMB and start acting more responsible, do this to ease my aching heart because last night hurt me. Oladeji I can't loose another child, I will go mad with heartache." My Gold swayed on her feet and I'll never understand the pain of loosing a child but it must be really tough.

I shot up and went to her side, then wrapped my hands around her "Haba mummy, its okay, we will do as you have said. I'm going to be off call on Wednesday, Daddy's driver will take us there ekpele(sorry) iyaa mi(my mother). Its okay you know all this thinking is not good for your health," I consoled.