Wake up, go to work, come home, it's not working/We've been living our whole lives
on a system that is broken/Your words, I hear them/They're sharp, can't get near them/We got one last chance,/one more time to make this happen/We got one time, time to get this right/Two times and you know it's not my style/three's company, just you and me,/we need to figure this one out/four letter words are all you said/five minutes later we're in bed/Can't count on you to love me,/but I can count the days since you've been gone/Break up, I come home, I realized that its not working/you're gone and it echoes/I miss the noise of all our fighting/and you know that I don't mean a word I say/and I know that you don't wanna stay away/how long am I gonna be counting the days you're gone /Ever since I saw you,there was no-one else, just you and me/(you're all that I could see)/but I got this problem/I don't know how to say what I mean, what I mean/
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You're shitting me." Brian stated, not even forming it into a question because he knew that it just couldn't be true. His eyebrows creased immediately showing his confusion.
"I wish I was.." I muttered, tossing the notebook and pen to the floor. I brought my head into my hands and sighed. I fought back the tears that tried to escape my already swollen eyes. They started to burn. I didn't think I even had any tears left in me. It felt like I had cried an ocean in the past week.
"Zee, what happened? You were together for forever, man." Brian said, patting my shoulder.
"I don't really know..." I said, thinking back to yesterday.
I walked up the footway to my house excited to see Katrina, my girlfriend of 5 years. We had been recording our new self titled CD for about a month now and were finally able to take a week off to visit our loved ones. I was more than ecstatic to wrap my arms around her thin body and kiss every inch of her.
As soon as I unlocked and opened the door my dog, Ichabod came running to my feet. I immediately picked him up and nestled him to my chest.
"Hello Icky! Did you miss Daddy?" I asked him as he licked my face. "Ha, where is mommy, little dude?"
"She is right here." I looked up to see one of the most beautiful people I had ever laid my eyes upon. I immediately felt an inner piece take over me.
I walked up to her and looked her up and down.
Her long brown hair was pulled into a messy bun, the blonde highlights catching the sun light that was shining through the window. Her jaw line was beautifully crafted like a goddess against her pale skin. Her lips were in a permanent red pout thanks to her mother's naturally plump lips. She had beautiful round hazel eyes, which were brighter than mine, if that was even possible. Her thin eyebrows were arched in a way that any women would die for. She wore a black tank top that hugged her every curve. Her breasts fell up and down as she breathed in and out. The black boy shorts that she sported hugged her tight ass and showed off her hip bones.
Her tattoos were very noticeable in the clothes she wore. She had two half sleeves of floral designs that were brightly colored. Both of her sides were done, one had a feather with birds flying from it, the other was a death bat dedicated to my band. She had numerous tattoos on both legs, and a full set angel wings that took up her whole back.
She was literally my angel.
"Hello beautiful." I whispered in her ear as I wrapped my arms around her. She instantly froze against my touch. "What's wrong?" I asked, my eyebrows tensing up.
"Zack," She breathed. "We need to talk."
No one ever likes to hear that phrase. And regardless, it always ends up resulting in something dreadful. I could only hope that this was something that would lead up to me falling in love with her more, if that was even possible.
"Katrina, what is it?"
"Maybe you should sit down." She offered, rubbing the back of her neck. It was a nervous habit she had picked up when she was a child. It never meant anything good.
"Okay." I mumble, setting Ichabod on the ground and sitting on the couch. My heart instantly dropped as she started biting her nails. It was another horrible habit that she tried so hard to break.
"Zack, you know I love you." She sighed.
"As I love you, Kat."
"But ...I.... I just...fuck it, I just can't do this anymore."
My heart felt as though it had shattered into a million pieces. It suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe and that my wind pipe was closing. A cold sweat instantaneously took over my body and I could feel myself slowly rocking back and forth.
"Kat.."
"No Zack, you just need to listen for a second!" She nearly screamed. I was taken back. Kat hardly ever lost her cool. She was one of the calmest people I had ever met.
"It's been a long, hard 5 years for me, Zack. Everyday it's the same thing. I wake up, go to work, then come home, and more than half of the time you are not there. You are either: writing music, recording albums, touring, interviewing, working at VU, locking yourself away to work on designs, or just fucking around with the band."
"You never have time for me, Zack. You are out their living your dream and here I sit, waiting patiently. It's not fair. My dreams are being put on hold. My life is just chilling on the back burner. I'm 26 years old and not getting any younger." She said, looking me straight in the eye.
"Kat.." I started, waiting a few seconds to see if she would allow me to speak. "I don't get it. You are working for me helping design all of Vengeance University's clothing. You run the website and pretty much run the whole entire company. I thought your dream was to design clothes. Not to mention, you are a DJ on one of the nation's biggest radio stations.."
"You just don't get it, Zack. Those things are all great. I love them. I am blessed to have them as a career. But they are not my dreams. They are not what I lose sleep over at night." She said, putting her head in her hands.
"What is it then, Katrina. What is it that you don't have? You have everything in the palm of your hand, and anything else you wanted I could easily give it to you. You live in a mansion, your drive an expensive car, you have a room full of clothes, you eat at expensive restaurants, you have many friends, and you have millions in the palm of your hand. What is it that you want that I have already not given you?" I asked, beginning to become frustrated.
She looked up from her hands and gave me a look I had never saw before. It was a look of pure hatred.
"Zackary, life is not about money. Shit, I have the money to buy anything I want. Money can't get me what I want."
"I don't get it." I simply stated, rolling my eyes.
"Do you just not listen to me, Zack?" She asked, looking hurt.
"Katrina, I honestly don't know what you are talking about."
"I want a family Zack. That is my dream. I have said it from day one, 5 years ago. I want a family out of this. I want a child to call my own. I want something more than just this. Don't get me wrong, it has been great, but this is just getting old..." She gestured between her and I.
"I don't know what to say to that Kat." I said, feeling hurt.
"No need to say anything, Zackary. I believe you just said everything you needed to." She said, tears streaming down her face. She got up from the couch, and walked out the door, slamming it shut in the process.
