Mate

Past rewinds

You'd think that when a loved one passed you'd be ok you could make it without them you could be the strong one but really its all bullshit all of it. Its been three days sense dad died n i've been up here in my bedroom sulking and crying my eyes out. I thought i could do it be the Alpha but without my dad im lost in a sea of confusion and my own thoughts swamping me thinking and plotting and revising everything that happened that day that day that i lost the man that made me who i am. Serene's been trying to help but its not working all i see when she comes to visit is her dad finally finishing mine off even if it wasn't him when it happened i'd still feel the same because of her dad i lost mine. Yet right now Serene is my rock but i'm also counting down the ramaining days my mother has left how much longer will i have untill both my parents leave me , abandon me to a life of hell with love in it. How am i supposed to function without them when she leaves and makes this all perminent. i keep thinking that i'll wake up and my dad will be there shaking his head because i missed practice once for sleeping in god i would kill to just have him there in my room glaring at me or even being proud of me i don't care i just wish he was here huh well thats not going to happen. I remember when my dad showed me how to hunt using only my instincts.

~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~

"Dad!" i called for him as i raced down the creaky hallway where i've fallen millions of times doing what im doing now. "Yes!" he answered from his office. I ran to him bolting through the house we owned as i couldn't stop thinking bout today's lesson on training my instincts. I rushed through the door in a flash as i faultered because the office's flooring wasn't Oak it was carpet but it was a beautiful carpet none the less. "Father are you ready." i said cheerfully as i looked at him. 'Oh no he is his desk chair meaning huh that he had work and always in my fathers mind work before family because my work is for my family.' "Damion was that in anyway neccesary young man." my father barked "No but Father you promised you'd take me hunting to train my instincts." i whinned "Another time Damion im working." he said as he shoed me off "But Father please you promised." i pleaded again "Damion i said i can't i am working!" he barked louder "But Father you promised..." i whispered as all hope and exsitment left my body as the usual thing happens. He says later which turns out to be never just like always he never pays attention to me never. I turned around and started to leave when i heard him mutter something under his breathe "Huh that boy n his silly promises me and him both know im too busy for those things.". I coudn't contain the pain rising in me as his words registered in my brain "You lier you big fat cheating lier all you do is rise my hopes and for nothing, nothing just because you are the Alpha doesn't mean you should stop being a father too but i guess in your head you only register work because feelings are to complicated for your stupid mind to register!!" i yelled as tears swam down my face and dripped off my chin and into his carpet. "Damion is everything alright in here?" mother asked as she walked into daddy's office "No nothing is alright he did it again mom the famious blow off with the saying another time Damion im working or maybe later son im busy and not right now im focusing on something important. Well i guess its so important to you that you decided to lose me in the process!!" i shouted as i ran out the door and down the stairs as the other wolfs looked at me like Jessica and Travis. He gave me this look the kind of look like you ok bro but i'm not ok you now why because my father would rather stare at a piece of paper for hours instead of getting me ready to be an Alpha like him!

I remember that devistation and that heart broken pain but it all went away it all went through the window when he came back for me

"Son, son please come back here!" Father shouted as he followed me down and into the woods our woods. "Leave me alone!" i cried "Please Damion let me explain let me make it up to you." he pleaded like i had just minutes ago "Oh yea how Father are you going to have your Beta make it up for you again like always well im sick of you not being there for me i don't want a fake or a replacement i just want my Father to teach me and actually want to see me and spend time with me!" i cried "Is that really how you feel Damion that i use my friend to make things up for me because i don't want to?" he asked with pain and sorrow etched into his face "What else am i supposed to think father thats all you do is send me out with someone other then you." i sigh "Well then let me make it up to you right now son let me train you to be the master of your instincts." he said with happiness in his eyes "Are you sure that your not going to leave me in the middle of it to go see some more papers." i said "Yes Damion i promise." he said