Baby & Me

Labor and Delivery

The smell of antiseptics and sweat is so strong, it burns my nose as I breath it in. White walls with with maroon and green stripes makes up most of the wall decor. If this is where it all ends for me, Im going to be beyond pissed. My body feels worn out and drained. The constant contractions feel like I'm being ripped into peices. '' Push Kelly, push'' my mom screams in encouragement. I know shes trying to be helpful but its irritating.

''DAMMIT IM TRYING,THIS HURTS SO FUCKING BAD.'' I scream out in pain.

'' Your doing good, just remember to breathe.'' The doctor says.

Good thing he is a nice guy because the urge to kick someone is so strong and he's the easiest target.

'' Argggg ohhhhh shittt is it almost out yet?'' I scream in pain.

Maybe if Alex was here things would be better. Going through this without him seems like torture. 

The stars are so bright tonight. I remember thinking to myself. Okay you can do this, deep breaths. ''If he loves you he will stay by your side. Its his baby too.'' I said to myself. I got out of my black acura knowing I had to face the music eventually.

As I walked to the bench Alex was sitting on, waiting for me.I almost lost my nerve. Before I could leave though he turned around and smiled at me. '' Come.''  he said with the sexiest smile grazing his lips. Taking a deep breath, I sat beside him with my eyes down cast. I was too afraid to look at him. As long as I've been with Alex I've always felt I was holding on to him with a thin rope and at any minute that rope might break.'' baby what's wrong? You can talk to me about anything, you know that don't you?'' he whispered while lifting my face and gazing into my eyes. I know I have to tell him. He has every right to know and maybe we will be a family. A beautiful family! '' I'm pregnant.'' I blurted out in a rush. My heart was beating so fast it was almost painful. The silence lasted for so long I thought perhaps he might not have heard me. Then he spoke '' Iiis it mmmine?'' He stammered out. He must have noticed the expression on my face because he quickly added '' Wwwhat I mean is- sigh baby we can get through this, together.'' My heart leaped for joy! He wanted us and we really would be a family.He - my thought was cut short ''First thing in the morning we will go to an abortion clinic and get that thing out of you. Then it can get back to being just you and me. I mean I'm not the father type babe. But don't worry you don't have to get rid of it on your own. I'll pay for everything.'' He said as if it his words had been of comfort to me. What he didn't know is that he had just shattered my world. He didn't want our baby. I tryed to calm my racing heart be for it gave me a heart attack. '' Alex I'm not getting rid of this baby. I know were young but I truly feel we can do this. Alex just please give us a cha-'' he cut me off before I could finish. '' You think you know me but you don't. You don't even understand the thing inside of you. Get rid of it before you do something you regret.'' Alex said while running a hand through his dark brown hair. I couldn't contain my anger any longer. I knew this night would be a defining factor in our lives...in our relationship but I didn't think he could be this this... I searched for the right word...cold hearted. '' Thing?'' I screamed '' It's a baby! Your baby! How can you not want him or her? How???'' I asked with tears streaming down my face. '' Alex reached for my hand but I pulled it away before our skin could make contact. '' Kelly please I'm begging you, get rid of it, You don't understand this thin- baby will destroy you. Kelly just think about it for a second, me and you we could finish college and do all the things we planned. You remember when you,me,brady and Chelsea talked about traveling around the world making new adventures as we go?'' I nodded my head while the tears continued to flow '' We can still do that, but not if you keep this baby.'' he begged. I knew what he was saying and in that moment I fully understood all I was giving up, but I couldn't take an innocent baby's life. It was selfish and most importantly it was murder. '' Iii cccant im ssorry.''I said through my tears. Alex stood and looked at me ''Well then it seems you have made your choice then you will have to do this without me.'' he said before walking away.

A rough nudge brought me out of my memories.

'' Didn't you hear the doctor? He said push, all you have left is to clear the shoulders.'' my mother said.
I pushed with all I had. Breathing through clenched teeth. '' Your doing good Kelly just keep pushing. Ahh the baby is almost out. Come on one more big push.'' the doctor coaxed. The most beautiful sound I've ever heard peirced the room,my baby's cry. The doctors handed her to me immediately. I looked over her beautiful features and began counting all her fingers and toesy. Ten fingers and ten toes. She was perfect and she was mine.