HOCKEY IMAGINES: BOOK 2 // REQUESTS CLOSED

#18: CARTER HART - #79 PHILADEPHIA FLYERS

Song: 7 Minutes by Dean Lewis.

Carter's PoV:

I knew from the moment I looked at her that she was the one, she was the one that I would one day marry and grow old with. Everything about her was perfect, she was beautiful and she was mine. I met her when we were in kindergarten together, she asked to sit beside me and I nodded my head in response because I was so scared to talk to her. From that moment she became mine, we did everything together as one. When I turned fourteen I knew that my feelings for her were more than just friends, thankfully when I admitted those feelings to her she responded with a kiss and we started dating as a couple.

I loved her so much. I loved her so much that when I went to play ice hockey in Everett I begged her to break up with me. I wasn't going to be around to love her, hold her, and be with her like I use to do. It was for her own benefit, she deserved someone to love her that was around every single day and be there for her when she needed them. I couldn't do that, I wasn't in the same country as her and it made things difficult between us. But the distance showed me just how much I missed her, how much my heart was in love with her. I was glad she told me no when I brought up the subject, I don't think I could have taken the heartache that would have happened with her not being in my life.

But then things changed between us when I went over to the AHL affiliate for the Flyers. I don't know what happened, it might have been my fault. Those thoughts that I had when I first left Sherwood Park to play ice hockey crept back into my mind again, the idea that she deserved someone much better than me never left my thoughts. She is far too good for me, she deserves so much better than me. She needs someone there with her every day, she deserves someone who can go to her the second she asks. I can't do that, I haven't been able to do that for a long time now and it pains me to not be near her like we used to be. So I decided it was best I distanced myself from her, that I would always claim I was busy, that I couldn't talk to her every day when in reality I was hiding from her.

I justified my reasons to why I was doing what I was doing. To me I was freeing her from the life of a hockey girlfriend, I was giving her the freedom to leave and never have to deal with that sort of life. She didn't deserve to have a life like that, she is far too amazing to have burdened herself to that sort of life. It was hard to come to the decision I did, I loved her but was I ready to love her more than what I already did? I came to the decision that I must end things with her, that we need to go our own separate ways. It hurt me, I admit that to myself. It hurt me so much that I cried when I decided it was the day to do it, tonight I would break up with my love and break mine and her heart at the same time.

We sit in the car after a date we had together. With it being All-Star weekend, I came back to Sherwood Park to visit family and more importantly, end things with her. She sits silently beside me, her body turned away from me while I drive her home.

It was a mess of a date. I picked her up later than I said I would be there because of traffic, we barely said a word to each other and every time she looked at me I thought I was going to cry because I knew tonight is the night I would end things between us. I have reasoned with myself that this is the best way for us both, I have given justification to why I am doing this, and while it will break our hearts it is best for us to end things now rather than later.

I turn into her street and I feel my heart race in my chest, I grip at the handle of the steering wheel when I know it is time. I can't put it off any longer, I must do it. I pull the car into the driveway of her house and shut the car off, she doesn't move or turn her head towards me. The silence between us is almost unbearable, you can hear a pin drop with how quiet it is in my car. I turn to her, my heart thumping in my chest and palms getting sweaty when I cast my gaze towards her face.