THE LIST

chapter 6

He had been driving for hours again. I looked down on my watch, it was 9;21 pm, we should be out heading out of doha at this hour. I sipped on the bottle of water  the Korean had managed to buy earlier. I was seriously starving at this point.
“why are we headed south?” he asked me. He must have been holding it in all this while, when i told him we go south all he did was step on it.
“because they expect us to keep going forward. North to be exact.” I answered before taking another sip. “we are going back to where it all started. The only place i can assure you your safety.”
“how?” he asked, damn he was curious.
“i have a plan.” I said with no futher explanation.
This was the only way i could have him go back to korea. He was better off safe than looking for answers where he couldn’t find any.
“your sister,” i began, remembering we were interrupted before he could tell me anything.
“i thought you said the less we know about each other, the better.” He answered, his eyes on the road.
He was right, i said that, my curiousity must have overlapped my reasoning. My eyes drove to the window as i watched trees pass me by.
“she had a science trip here in Qatar.” He began after a few seconds of silence. I didn’t want him to see my interest in the story so i didn’t bother to turn to him when he spoke. “all twenty six children died the day they got to doha. I was believed to be an accident but my father choose not to believe. When they carried out an autosy it was discovered she was murdered. “
How? I wanted to ask but didn’t.
“ she was split up,” he continued as if answering my question. “her body parts where missing.”
No, it cant be, it shouldn’t be, i mustn’t be. Don’t say more, just keep quiet. Don’t say it. I shut my eyes as if that would block his voice.her heart, my mind spoke.
“her heart.” I heard him say.
Her eyes.
“her eyes.” He said.
No, this couldn’t be happening. Please don’t say her liver.
“her liver.”
And her kidneys. Let it not be so.
“and her kidneys.”
My eyes flew open at the sight of the trees we drove past. Guilt invading every atom in me. A freezing coldness pouring on my black skin and my insides felt like throwing up the water i took in. He was looking for them, us , all of us. His sister was part of the many victims of H.A.B project. A project my own parents started. I was one of his own sister’s murderes. He was risking his life for one of the people he was looking for.
“look ashmid.”
“ashmid?” he cut me short, forsing me to turn to him. That was his name right?
“the man at the airport called yo...”
“ohh no. Ashmid was a friend of mine. He was the only person who said he would help me. He worked for the Doha police, he as much as every other parent in korea who lost their kids in that supposed accident want justice for what happened.”
So he already had people helping him. Why was he stuck with a girl with a death sentence on her tail.
“i presume he still has nothing on that fight for justice.” I whispered, loud enough he heard me.
“he found out who ever was behind that killing was not in Doha but Mesaieed. After i moved down here he disappeared, like he never exsited.”
They eliminated him. We eliminated him. I was sure Enoch found out he was digging into the issue and killed him, just like he did anybody who dared to interrupt the project, including my parents.
“you wont find the answers you are looking for, its clear they will kill you too just like they did your friend.” I tried to convience him.
“i need evidence to fight for justice. i am this close to the truth, i can feel it.”
Can you? I almost asked, the truth was sitted right next to him, with him. I was the truth, and everything on that phone was the truth. Right, the phone, i needed to finish watching that video.
“where’s the phone?” i asked as i jumped in my seat.
“in the back pack.” He said, looking at me with curiosity. My actions of course were not as ordinary. I pulled the back pack from the back seat and fibbled through it, finally i retrived the phone. I pressed the power button, it wasn’t going on, why? I needed to finish that damned video. I needed to know what else was left to know. Panic began to take over as my eyes grew wide at it.
“Come on,” i whispered, my finger still on the power button. Finally, it lit up and relief descended on my soul. I saw hope yet again.
“you said that was your life.” I heard him speak. He wanted answers as well, he told me enough to make him think i could open up but i wasn’t sure he would like to know into me. I felt guilt eat my intestines but it was for our own good.
“you are not going to tell me are you?” he asked after my silence.
“no.”  I simply said and kept to myself.
There it was, a picture of my family popped up on the screen. My lovely family, my dad, a tall, middle weight man with black dark hair and very bright eyes. He had white teath too, every time he smiled in the dark that was probably the only thing we saw. My mum was inches shorter than my dad, she wasn’t small, no, she was also a medium weight, with long, off black hair, it was clear as day she wasn’t properly fed as a child, her hair colour looked horrible in day light. I was glad i had my dad’s hair but my body was completely my mother’s. And there i was, i teenage me, overweight by then, chubby cheeks and a shiny forehead, my hair was cut short that year but it was the darkest part of me. I loved this, the feeling that picture gave me, the comfort, the closure, the security, the warmth. It was the every feeling i felt the first time my eyes were set on the Korean.
“like family.” I thought out loud.
“what?”
“no....nothing.” i said before shoving the phone in my pocket. I decided i will watch the video later, when i was away from this man.
“you can stop right at that corner.” I told him. We were close to the underground head quaters. The invisible CIA offices that had half my life in it.
“here is the plan,” i said as he made it to the corner. “we will go through the back entrance, you follow my lead. We will use the power tunnels to go in. I will delete any possible information they might have about you, then you can go back to korea or any other place thats safe. Stay there for a while..”
“i told you...”
“shut up and just listen to me for once!” i screamed at him. “you will die looking for your sister’s murderers. The CIA are your sisters murderers and am sure by now they know that. They will kill you.”
His face looked pale, totally out of blood. He was shocked, that wasn’t the best delivery i have ever done but he needed to know at least that much. Maybe then his stubborn act will come to an end. I could see his heart ripping, his eyes talked to me a way no others did.
“how do you..”
“this is not the time to ask me that. You have helped me come this far, telling you the truth is all i can do.” Part of the truth that is , i part of me didn’t want to tell him my parents created all the mess. In his eyes i wanted to be an angel. Spotless, not stained at all. “lets get you to safety.” I told him as i grabbed the pack bag and stepped out of the car.
I took a few steps before turning back and realised he was still glued to the driver’s seat. This was no time for all this drama. I was sure in the back of his head he was going through the moment when he had his sister’s killers in his house yet he allowed them slip through his fingers. Or maybe he was detesting me, i was the CIA anyway.
“asmid!” i called out. i didn’t know what other name to call him. “you coming?” i asked after his eyes met mine.
Slowly he stepped out, i needed to wait for him, he needed my patience. I needed to understand his pain, the feeling of betrayal that haunted him. It could be worse, i assured myself, worse if he knew it all.
“lets go.” He said once he reached me.

***

We had been walking for a while. First on a tiny road before we branched off into the woods. Despite it been an industrial area it had alot of woods separating it from other places. Asmid, or whatever he was called tailed me, he hadn’t spoken, or asked questions. He just walked behind me, like life didn’t matter at all. He didn’t wear any emotions, while apart from the blank look onhis face and the emptiness that he probably felt, he barely looked normal.
“water?’ i asked, turning to him but my legs were still headed forward.
“no.” He answered, his eyes on my face but not with me.
I hated it when he talked too much but right now i couldn’t deny that i kind of missed it, his annoying questions been absent made me feel empty, just like him. I straighted out my hand to hand him a bottle of water that i had pulled from the side pocket of the back pack but he still didn’t take it. He looked pretty dehydrated, he had been going up hill and even in this cold weather there is no running away from thrist. I turned to him and started walking backwards.
“if you trip, you are going to die.” He told me. He was worrying about me, well he did need me to survive, anyway it was a given, we were in the woods, on a mountain, going uphill. If i tripped i would probably row off and hit an amount of trees before joining my parents in the after life.
“you will be slower if you keep panting that way with no water.” I said with a smile, my hand still out with a bottle.
“WATCH OUT!” he screamed suddenly causing my body to swing to see what was aiming for me. A bullet swang right past me. My heart was pounding so hard. I was in a state of confusion to react to anything. I heard another gunshot go off , not sure from which direction but all i could tell from that moment was that the Korean tried to save my life.
He wrapped himself around me and before time could tell we were rolling off the mountain. I couldn’t spare tiem to think, all i did was sink my body in his as we hit tree after tree, one stone after another. I didn’t know how fast or far we were going but i was sure of one thing, he was surely in more pain than i was. I knew because despite the hard fall, not for once did he let me go, not for once did he allow me hit in a tree. I felt him hit another, this time he allowed the pain to escape from his mouth in a mourn. I wanted to lift my eyes to see his face but instead i did the opposite. I sank my face into his chest even more. I knew i was been selfish, i knew he was protecting me and i was hiding in him like a coward.
We hit a rock and he allowed me slip from him, i landed hard on my left hand as i took a few more turns. It took a while for me to realise we reached the bottom. We were on flat land.rocks surrounded a stream that passed by. There was no stream near  the under ground head quarters, or thats what we all thought. It didn’t matter cause that moment i felt my insides turn. The Korean came to mind so quick i didn’t feel my pain anymore. I jumped to my kneels, ready to go searching for him but stopped.
He was laying on his back a few steps from me. His perfect face had a cut right under his left eye, his eyes were my favourite, the always reminded me of almonds, they had a shape of almonds, my mother’s favourite. Another bruise on the left side of his mouth, he did have an excellent smile, it was so rectangular i could see the curve to the back of his teeth. His right hand was bleeding, the cut by his elbow was huge.  I felt my heart stop when my eyes drove to his leg, his kneel was tibia was fractured. It was an open fracture at that, i could see pieces of broken bones piercing through his skin. My throat ran dry when i saw a stick stuck in his thigh. My breath stopped, my spine cold and tears suddenly blinded me as they filled my eyes.
I wasn’t one to cry, after my parent’s death i didn’t know how tears tasted, no amount of pain drove me to cry, ever. I crawled towards him as i pushed back the salty water that made attempts to roll down my face, there was no way i was going to give them a chance.
“hey,” i called out to him as i patted his cheek. He was unconscious. I bent over his face to listen to anything, a sign he was breathing, i felt the warmth of his breath, he was alive. “hey! You need to wake up!” i continued to pat his face, hoping he would wake, but he didn’t.