Hard times and deep thoughts

im out of hiding

so.... ive been through a lot lately and havent been posting at all. so heres why....

my mom was diagnosed with cancer last summer.... on November 6th 2018 my mother passed away... she had been fighting so hard! she was doing better then worse and then it would just repeat. i had gone to see my mom in September...  i hadn't seen her in 2 years so this was amazing... but i was sick... but that was the weekend i HAD to go because we had previously gone to court and those were the days they scheduled me to go... i was so sick that i slept the entire time i was there and maybe spent 4 hours tops with her... it was hard because even when i was there i couldnt get to close because she would very easily catch what i had.. then she would have gotten even sicker and they would have had to stop all her treatments till she got better... i never got to say goodbye and i never really got to spend time with her... i miss the days where we would drive around, blast music, drink dunkins and just sing at the top of our lungs... i miss you mom