Don't Call Me Angel [Book 4] (#Wattys2017)

Chapter 35

*please read before continuing.*

When coming up with this chapter I didn't mean for it to turn out this way and it did.

If you are sensitive or triggered by suicide places do not read this chapter.

You have been warned.

I have wonder what it would be like if I fell back into an eternal slumber once more. I have wondered about a lot of things.

What if father never went mad that day. I knew I was the first to die that dreadful day.

I closed my eyes and remember the look of pride in my father's eye when he saw me soring through the skies. That big grin on his face while he laughed overjoyed that I finally was able to fly with ease.

And then when coming into the landed he stood beside me, giving me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head.

"My little one, I'm so proud of you. Next time your mother should be here too witness this."

"You don't think she will be mad?"

"If I know your mother she would worry but nonetheless be just as proud and amazed as I am at this moment. My children are so very gifted, " he said patting my head. "Come little one, support is almost ready, " he grinned turning towards the direction of the house.

"How do you know dinner is almost done, the sun has not set?"

"Your father knows everything, my dear one."

I opened my eye not wanting to remember what happened next after that. It shortly had been that moment fell and bleed and before that moment my father was not my father. What happened after that only my brothers and sister could tell me but like I we wish not to remember those moments.

I wondered what it would be like to see mother again. If she was happy. If she forgave father for what happened.

I also wondered about my brothers and sisters?

Elisabeth and Edward both travel the world, finding new things to explore and learning how to cope with their new lives. The two of them could easily adapt unlike me.

Lennox doesn't bother to learn unless he needs too. He only wishes to live quietly and protect the family. He works for WDA only to simply pass the time.

Marcus still sleeps but will wake soon. I know he will. And hopefully, he will find some healing within the company of Rachelle and the rest of the family.

It's a shame that I may not be there to see it.

My back aches where my wings used to be. I never realized how heavy they were. I laughed at myself and lied back.

The sky was blue and the clouds were white. I wonder what it would be like to fly once more. The thought made me at peace that maybe one day I could find myself surrounded by wonders of the sky.

"What a fool you are, Olivia, " I said to myself. "A foolish fool. A terrible fool. A fool that has no idea how to save herself.

"Mother, father, have I done wrong that I would be rejected by my soulmate. Am I that repulsive, " I felt the tears run the side of my face. Throwing my arm over my eyes I took a deep breath and cried as loud as I could.  I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of a lot of things and I wonder: why am I here?

The sun was at its highest, hitting its rays against my pale skin. It was so warm but yet I felt so cold still.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out and pulled out a swiss army knife that I have stolen from Tony when she had stopped for gas.

The outer layer wasn't made of silver but the knives inside were. It was made to protect agents on the field if in case of an emergency.

I struggled to pull out one of the knives in the contraction for it burned the skin. I took in the pain and pulled it out successfully.

Raising the blade in the air, it shined. I took a deep breath and placed my hands down on either side of me.

I looked at the sky once more. I know well that if I simply hurt my self I would heal fast but with silver it took time.

I focused all my attached on the sky and the clouds. Those beautiful clouds. I took the blade and without looking ran the blade against my wrist. All I could feel was burning and then nothing, my wrist became numb. I didn't feel like enough but that was okay. Everything was okay now because I don't want to feel the pain.

I placed my arms back down to my sides and continues to watch the blue sky.

I am sorry. I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to wait for a second chance. But I don't want a second chance. I don't know why I can't let him go.

I am a fool.

I blinked a few time and smiled.

"What a beautiful day."