LIGHT

CHAPTER FIVE

She decided not to go to work, she
just needed space, time and energy with each minute or second passing. She felt she was suffocating, she needed air, her environment of her home seemed very toxic to her. She wanted to take the bike but changed her mind about it and decided to walk. She walked a long distance without realizing it until she
noticed the Arc de Triumphe which was at the end of the Champes Elysees street (actually one of the longest street in Paris. She felt better now, no longer feeling suffocated. She loved this street especially smell it has a song about lovers making out passionately. She turned and along the garden she noticed one couple getting romantic and thought of Walter, within her though she saw it
as unusual, she knew she missed him).
Just then, someone tapped her from
behind, she hoped it wasn‟t someone she knew because she just wanted to be alone. Another tap, she turned and saw the familiar face of a man she
couldn‟t recall either his name or where she knew him from. “hi, I‟m the young lad you spoke so kindly to at the restaurant when I got into a fit”, he said.
She remembered him vividly, now he looked younger, more calm and happy.
“what does he want from me”, she
thought. “Oh I see, how you doing?, I‟m Ashley”, she said as she introduced herself. “I‟m Armstrong” he said, “nice meeting you”, they both said at the same time then laughed. They exchanged pleasantries and number when they both realized they were heading the same direction. They strolled together, talking as they did when he asked where exactly she was headed and she replied “nowhere in particular”. Then he said he was going to visit an orphanage and after then a band of beggars, if she could come along with him was okay by her. She needed to be alone at least to clear her head and think straight, but she remembered the encounter of last Friday that made her loss herself from the guilt, so she said yes to him.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

Arriving at the orphanage, she
saw kids looking so happy and lively
and wished silently to be so happy and carefree like them. They walked into the orphanage and just immediately a lady brushed her shoulders unknowingly and was apologizing, when she recognized
her, “you were the lady who talked
about flow and energy love gives last Thursday?”, she nodded in affirment, “yes I am”. The lady was glad and told her how the story had changed her
marriage life, that she learnt to love her husband more than how she did before. The lady advised her to be a
marriage/relationship counselor and they both laughed over it. They talked about other things, then the woman
turned to Armstrong and said, “I guess you are her husband”, “no, I‟m just a friend of hers”, he replied. “why did she have to bring up her husband‟s issue”, Ashley thought to herself then replied to him. The lady said, “he‟s just a lucky man to have such beautiful lady full of love as his wife, do bring him for the meetings”. Ashley smiled (if only she knew things weren‟t how she imagined it). They waved goodbye to each other and Ashley felt a sense of relief.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

“When the unwanted guest arrives
I might be afraid.
I might smile or
Or say, my day was good, let night
Fall.
You will find the fields ploughed,
The house clean, the table set and
Everything in its place”‟

Ashley just remembered some lines
from a poem she had learned as a child, the unwanted guest. The poem is talking about she saw before her phase in her marriage started. She was afraid of it but couldn‟t do anything about it, she couldn‟t smile or say the things the poem talked about but she hoped the last line “and everything in its place could happen”, it would be nice if it were true. For her, to stop running from her home and feel at peace with herself for once in her life and know her husband
was not sleeping outside, she wished
silently.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

She normally didn‟t listen to news
but due to she felt very empty inside and bored, she listened to it, she was about changing the station when the business news started. She watched with dismay as the news broadcaster read the news stating Walter her husband‟s group of companies was going down rapidly as their loss of the day was close to 37%.
"He's feeling very guilty and its affecting the company", she thought. Cherly and Nessa were looking at the television and shouting "it isn't true; dad‟s company can't loss much in a day, right mom?
Ashley was quiet and still. He came in and went right upstairs, his kids called out to him but he didn't answer (he actually didn't hear them) he's mind was somewhere else thinking deeply. Ashley knew he needed her right now and so desperately. Within her she wanted to rush to him and keep him company but she never imagined it would happen this way. In her imagination she hit him so
badly and hurled abuses at him. She
pushed the imaginations aside and went to his room. He lay on the bed and she went and sat beside him taking his hand in hers. He was surprised he wanted to say something but didn't know the right words to use. His hand interlocked in hers she looked at him not knowing what to do or say. He blurted out I'm sorry I didn't mean to" She said nothing
at first and said “you should get some rest you had a tough day at work today "
He lay down and she kissed him gently. He didn't respond immediately but later grabbed her and kissed her. How he missed her kisses and her lovely scent.
He was tired but he wanted her right
now. More kisses and romance. She
was the sweetest thing he knew he
always feel at peace whenever he was
with her. She made him feel safe. Unlike most women that he knew there was something peculiar about her. He made a resolution deep within him looked at her and smiled then still holding her hands, he slept.