Survivor

Chapter 4

 I'm on the side of my bed watching them, the nurses and doctor work on me, again. "We got a pulse! It's faint, but she's alive," a nurse says.

"Oh, good. I'm not dead," I say.

"No, you're not." I jump at the sound of Jake's voice next to me.

"What the...? Where did you come from? What's going on now?"

We watch as they pull me out of the room with an oxygen rope to my nose. "It's called a coma; it's what's happens to some people who can't handle the trauma."

"Great. How long am I here for? You know, stuck like this?"

"Well, that's up to you. I'm here to help guide you through the journey, remember? So, it's all up to you where you want to end up." Inside I begin to freak out, having all sorts of bad thoughts running through my head. Hell, here (wherever that is), or heaven (which isn't bad) but I don't want to be dead either.

"What do you mean, 'end up'?!"

He stops, turns around, and does a small smile, then keeps following the nurses and doctor. I follow after him; still confused about what he meant. The nurses turn into a room and put the stretcher near the wall. One of the nurses hook me up to the monitors, and tubes before she leaves.

"Now, its my turn to look peaceful. Only, I'm not doing so well, and she is."

"Jealous much?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. I still don't understand why this is happening to me?"

"Here, let me ask you this? Can you talk to your parents?"

"Yes, of course I can."

"I mean really talk to them, like on a deep level?"

"Oh. No, I guess not. I mean I try to, but ..." I'm not sure why this has anything to do with the accident.

"Let's start there, then. How do they make you feel? Why are they so uncomfortable to talk with?"

I'm not sure why that has anything to do with why I'm in a coma or what's going on, but I go along with it anyways. I take in a deep breath and think about it for a moment. "I feel like they don't really listen. I mean, I know they care, but wouldn't understand why I feel the way I feel. If that makes sense?"

He just looks at me with a weird look on his face, and says, "No, not really but I'm trying to."

"Okay, um ... I feel like every time I try to say how I truly feel, they just flip out on me. They don't like to listen to me, so I lie about how I feel."

He's silent for a moment which makes me nervous. "It can't be that bad? They're your parents; they love you. Besides, how do they flip out on you?"

"I know they love me! When they ask me questions like, 'How are you?' and want an answer. I know they don't want a real one because if I did all hell would break loose." I try not to cry, but can feel the tears coming on stronger. I feel way too emotional about all of this and very uncomfortable. I don't like talking about my feelings to anyone.

"So...they flip out when you do answer honestly, and it's not the answer they want to hear."

"Exactly! It only makes me feel so much worse. Like I should've just told a lie and kept it a secret."

"No, you shouldn't. Keeping it all in will hurt in the long run. They won't understand now. but one day they will. They're your parents; you need them."

I take in a deep breath, "You're right. How do I make them listen without getting angry or making a fuss of some kind?"

His face changes as if he's thinking real hard, and then he puts his finger to his face. "That is a tough one. All I can say is you know how to make them listen. Let them know how you're truly feeling without being too forceful."

I think about that for a moment. It's not going to be easy though. I have a tough road ahead of me, with just doing that. "I think I understand; I can think of something. It won't be easy though." And I'll have a tough road ahead of me.

"Good. No it won't be. Come, let's move on."