-Ashley's POV-
"Bat di ka pa bumangon jan?" Tinapon ni ate Ingrid tuwalya niya dun mismo sa pwet ko dahil nakadapa ako. Kakagising ko lang nung pumasok si ate Ingrid sa kwarto.
Kakatapos niya lang magbihis at pumunta sa make-up desk niya. Pinanuod ko lang siya sa mga ginagawa niya at pinakinggan mga ingay niya dahil ayaw ko pang umalis sa pagkakadapa ko sa higaan kong mahal na mahal ko.
"Ate..." Medyo malalim at raspy pa boses ko.
"What?" Nagpapahid na ng cotton na may eskinol si ate Ingrid sa mukha niya.
"May gusto akong sabihin." Gustong-gusto ko talaga to' sabihin kay ate Ingrid. Gusto ko siya ang unang makakaalam sa plano ko. Di ko pa nasasabi kay Bea. Pero I wanted her the second person to know.
"Ano?" Patuloy si ate sa ginagawa niya.
Pinagisipan ko na talaga to ng maayos at sigurado na ako sa desisyon ko. I'm so glad na nakatulog pa ako ng maayos sa kakaisip sa gagawin ko ngayon. And I'm happy I came up with this decision. Kaya siguro I had a good night sleep cause I'm feeling happy. At excited akong gawin ang plano ko.
But first of all things, I wanted to know my sister's opinion. Kasi nakakatulong talaga si ate kahit na alam kong annoyed na annoyed siya pag ginagambala ko siya. She's my sister and I look up to her. But if di niya gusto plano ko, I'll still gonna do it. I'm determined to do it. Alam ko di ako pipigilan ni ate. There are so many times she disagreed with the things I like and love to do but she never encouraged me to stop it unless she finds it unhealthy and not good for me. That's the Ingrid I know.
"Ate.." I stood up from my bed. "I have already decided."
-----
It's Monday today. Kasama ko si Ethan papunta ng school. Right at this moment ay sabay kaming naglalakad ni Ethan, like the past Mondays but.. the surrounding is quite different.
"Okay ka na?" Tanong ko. At first, I hesitated to ask. Kasi minsan pag nag tanong yung tao sa kasama niya kung okay lang ba siya, magiging di siya okay kahit na okay siya kasi bumabalik yung bad feelings, moments. Pero there is still a need to ask para somehow ma-ease yung sakit at bigat ng nararamdaman. Minsan yung mga simpleng tanong, nakakagaan ng loob dahil alam mong may pakialam sayo yung tao at nagaalala.
He smiled before he answered. "Medyo."
I hope he's being honest because if not, it'll bother me a lot.
"Thank you, Ash. Dumating ka nung araw na yun."
"Sabi mo kailangan mo ng kausap so I came."
"And another thank you for listening to me."
"Thank you rin dahil you trusted me. Pinakilala mo sa akin si Aidan."
"I just thought you'll understand so...I told you about Aidan."
"You were blaming yourself, is that the reason why you didn't tell anyone about Aidan?"
He looked at me. "Yes." And then he looked away. "Natatakot akong malaman ang katotohanan na sa isip nila, they are blaming me. Natatakot ako na marinig sa kanila na 'oh tama yan, sisihin mo sarili mo.'"
"You're over thinking."
"Can't help it. I'm aware na dahil sa bigat na nararamdaman ko because I do not tell anyone about Aidan and the accident, I'm blaming myself even more."
"You have to let it go. Hindi mo pwedeng dalhin yan buong buhay mo."
"It's complicated Ash. You won't understand. I can't let go of it."
