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For Him [TomTord] [OLD EDITION]

Fanfiction

Tord's parents leave on a buisness trip, and he's left to deal with his anxieties and lack of affection by himself. When a certain blue bird flies into the window of his life, he is set on keeping it in, he bonds with his blue bird in every way poss...

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Silent Accusations

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Love is like a child
It makes so many bad choices


"FUCK"
Tord stomped around in his room, completely disobeying Laddi.  He couldnt sleep.
He stayed in bed after she left, but he immediately felt the weight of his actions pricking at him.  He just couldnt try to fake that he was okay, because he wasnt.
It just felt like
Tiny little stabs.
All over the place 
So he stood and began pacing the room.
Speed walking around, anxious right turns so that he didnt bump into a wall. 
It really seemed like he didnt know where to go
What to do
So he ran in a circle.


"I did that!" He yelled.

"I, I..."
He slowly slumped down to the floor.
He began to really realize what he had done
What he mightve ended,
Damaged,
Hurt.
He looked down at the floor.
And then back at his hands.
Something flashed in them.
He couldnt see it.



"I did that."
He quieted down. Still looking at his hands, as if he didnt trust them,  didnt  know what they'd do. Didnt know what he would do. 
Didnt trust himself. 

"Im gonna go to hell." He mumbled.
He felt jittery. a strange and actice sensation to do something, anything. Hide, scream, cry, just.
Do something. 
But
Even if he didnt do anything 
And he just stayed 
Completely still 
Even jf it was bothersome 
He seemed.
Okay.
Insane, maybe.
It had started to rain, the sound seemed to calm him down.
It felt familiar.
The softly landing bullets of rain.
Making a random, yet synchronized sound.
A bunch of tiny problems
Making one big person.
That person
Seemed to be Tord.
Full of tiny problems 
But
At the end of the day
They were only tiny problems.
Tiny problems 
Thats what they are?
They are just tiny stones in your path
No big difference if they were gone completely. 





"I could've fucking killed her."
"She could be dead right now."
He thought for a moment.
And then a spike of energy hit him.
He jumped up, almost falling over. His hands gripped his hair.
He felt light.  Empty.
"She's gone." He mumbled, unsure of his emotions.
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