Islam and...

Islam and Hijab

Islam and Hijab

The topic of the Hijab is so controversial and complex that I don’t even know where to start. It has so many different sides to it that there is no end. Therefore, I am not even going to begin talking about the legitimacy or illegitimacy of the Hijab within Islam, but rather I just wanted to share my story in hopes that someone, somewhere will relate to it or perhaps get inspired by it. I am not giving any rulings whatsoever about what you have to wear and what you can’t; this is merely just me sharing my understanding of the Hijab.

My journey with the Hijab began when I was twelve. I remember that I started wearing the headscarf on my first day to middle school. However, like some people, my intentions and reasoning behind wearing the headscarf was anything but pure. I was raised in a very cultural environment to an extent and I am a huge people pleaser. I realized that girls who wore the head scarf were liked and called ‘good girls’, so I naturally wanted to wear this scarf. Moreover, I hated my hair, so I wanted to cover it up so I didn’t have to deal with it every day. So, in grade six, I wore the head scarf but I didn’t embody the meaning of Hijab, and when I think about it, I don’t believe it was Hijab, but rather it was just covering my head. Now, I think it is very important to differentiate between 'Hijab' and 'covering the head'. Hijab is an embodiment of modesty, chastity, purity, and humility. Covering the head is just covering the head. 

At this young age, I had no idea why I should wear the head scarf at all, so when people asked me, my reply was always ‘I don’t want to talk about it’. I didn’t really face any bullying at that point nor did I feel out of place due to my head scarf, and that was because I might as well have not been wearing the head scarf at all. Not to say that I was a bad kid or something, but it was just that age where everyone was just going through puberty and I became aware of the fact that guys were there. I didn’t really get involved per say with guys, but I did have some guy friends and I would play sports with them for sure. It wasn’t until the next year where I fully realized what Hijab was.

The next year I moved to a different school, and in this school there was finally another girl who wore the head scarf. We both wore it and I loved her company so much. That was where I saw one of the biggest benefits of the head scarf; the connection. The automatic connection between sisters of faith was so pure in the essence of childhood that it blew my mind. We both probably wouldn’t have been that close of friends if it wasn’t because of our religion. We both had very different likes and dislike, and while I was a tom-boy/ joker, she was the fashion/writer/artist. However, I thank God for the benefits that she gave me. I had a lot of knowledge at this point, but I never fully understood or looked deep into the knowledge I had. She brought a different perspective to all the knowledge that I had, and made me think deep. I questioned the reason I wore the head scarf, and the way I wore my clothes. I had quit wearing shorts and t-shirts a long time ago, but that was because of the same reason I wore my head scarf; I was insecure about how I looked and I wanted to hide myself. 

At this age, I realized that I wore as the headscarf to protect myself from ignorant people who just judged people by their beauty. I realized that I wore it for identity, to be recognized clearly as a Muslim. However, it wasn't until much later that I saw the full benefits of wearing the Hijab in its essence. At that time though, I had circulated a sort of telemarketer response to why I wore the Hijab. It was droned and laced with the purity of heart and soul alongside protection and identity. I'd like to think that I believed in what I was saying, but at the age of thirteen till fifteen, I was still pretty naive as to what Hijab was.