|| Third place from BTS NewGem Awards 2019 in Idol category ||
"Love myself, love yourself, huh? Try saying that when you're in my shoes. Go on, I dare you"
Abused, broken and betrayed.
She wanted nothing more than to just feel what it's like to be...
There'll be mentions of Self-harmand depression stuffs in this chapter. Perhaps, even some cruel torture.
If you're not comfortable with that, please do not proceed any further and get my book off your reading list.
So long Goodbye to my hope with no promise Even if I'm slow I will walk with my own feet Because I know this path is mine to take
-Lost, BTS-
//The next day//
30/Dec
Valerie's POV
Things just couldn't get anymore awkward between me and Kookie, and now that's he's getting way bolder, there's no hints to tell when that boy might pounce at any second. Our other baking companions are no exceptions either.
Seriously, what has gotten into them?!
My thoughts wander about as I fixed my hair in front of my vanity, checking on every details that I couldn't help but felt out of place, which made me let out a deep sigh. Things may have changed a little on how I act in front of them, but sadly old habits stick. A visible scowl made its way onto my face as I stared deeply into my own eyes through the flat piece of glass.
I've always hated how I look,
And I still do
I slowly traced my fingers against my skin, specifically on my wrists where they left a tainted reminiscence of what I kept deep within, locked away, and sworn to let no eyes witness or even caught glimpse of. Thoughts of the red sticky liquid being barely contained ploddingly tempting me as I still felt the scars and bruises that were left behind, giving me a burning-like sensation, and making me want to cry it all out.
The pain
The saddness
The guilt
The betrayal
The torture
The hate that kept on pulling me down into a realm of never ending suffering, like an endless road, one that just made it seemed like it wanted me to simply disappear.
Please, pull me out of this hell
"Val-ah" a voice called out which I immediately recognized to be Jin's. His smooth voice pulled me away from my sick thoughts "You're the only one who hasn't showed up yet, Tae's getting pouty" Jin said, slowly opening the door even wider while eyeing on me.
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