Damned but mine

Chapter 4

NICK

I glance at the clock which stood still on the wall, it was only 6:14 pm and here I was seated behind my desk looking through my laptop. Jerking my leg underneath the table and biting on my nails, I only stopped when I realised what I was doing. I wanted to check it so badly—it has been weeks since I last logged into my instagran account. Perhaps Rosie might just be hurting as I am. Stretching out my arm, I grab my phone from where it sat on the table. Logging into my account, the first picture that popped up was Rosie's. Wait! Who is this guy she's with?

Scrolling down, I try my best not to like the picture when my eyes captured the caption 'Even though I haven't known you for long, it seems to me I've known you forever "The fuck." I whispered. I entered the comment and lots of people were in support, even my friends, I could tell from their usernames.

For someone like Rosie she definitely moved on quick—it's almost like we never even happened. For goodness sake, we have been dating for three years and they both take a photo with this fucking caption saying it feels like she's known him forever. "I call bullshit."

As much I wanted to switch off my phone and pretend I never saw that, I still craved to check out her page—maybe, just maybe my picture, our picture was still on there. With my thumbs on the keypad, I was feeling nervous. I could tell from the way my hands were shaking. I shouldn't be, I can't be. From what I know, I don't give shit if our photos aren't there. Breathing out, I quickly click on her profile picture which took me to her page. Slowly scrolling down, there was nothing, not a single picture of me. There were lots of the football team but I wasn't in any.

Damn you Rosie.

I won't classify myself as a stalker but this is messed up—I'm here hoping I could make everything right but it seems to me no one even cares. The first week we moved here, I called, I texted, I left fucking voice mail but she didn't even reply any. Looks like she already moved on.

"Nick." I hear my mum. "Dinner is ready."

"Coming." I answered. My mind was crowded—too crowded I didn't even feel like going downstairs for dinner. A few minutes later with the silent in my room, I realise sitting here staring at my phone was just pointless.

                              ******

The next morning, I woke up with a throbbing headache—I could say that's what I get for lurking around Rosie's instagram page, not eating very much last night and not sleeping early. As much as I swore to myself that I would not check my phone again or rather switch it off, I only kept going back to it whenever a notification popped up. Glancing towards the clock on the wall, "Shit." I whisper—moving my head only made the pain worse. Sighing loudly, I fall back gently to the warmth of my bed. I decided to lay still for a few more minutes since the time was only 6:01 and I really  wasn't ready to get up yet be it a new school of not.

Today, my second day at Autumn high school and I was already feeling miserable—mainly because I needed some sleep. Now in front of the mirror, finally bathed and in a towel. As water drained from my face, I finger comb my wet hair backwards for it kept getting plastered to my forehead. Walking out of the bathroom, still on my towels, I readjusted my bed and pillow, arranging it so I could probably jump right into it when school's over.

Few minutes later, I was dressed. Holding unto my bag firmly, I locked my room door began going down. Again, last night there was an argument but hearing my mum voice from the kitchen as she sings to only God knows what, she sounded happy. Walking a little closer to the kitchen door that she couldn't see me, I see her dancing—i pitied her for she has to wake up every morning to make me and dad breakfast and when was the last time I said a fucking thank you, to show how much I appreciate—non.