Gardenias

Intro- Part. 1

June 19. Summer break started yesterday, and today was a pleasant one.

Warm sunlight filtered through the curtains in my room, and only a few stray clouds obscured the light. The distant roar of a lawnmower could be heard, along with the flits of bird songs.

The world was masked in serenity.

I was just barely waking up, and already, I feel miserable.

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling fan. Can I just lay here until I rot? I think to myself.

I hear muted footsteps running up the stairs and stop at my door. Loud knocks hit my door as the shrill voice of my sister comes from behind it, "Nick! Nicky! Niiickyy!! Wake up! Dad made pancakes!"

I smile softly as I get up and open the door.

My sister bursts in my room and hugs my legs. "Nicky!" she crows.

I lift her up and walk out if the room.

"What kinda pancakes did dad make?" I ask her. Her small face beams at me as she grins and replies with a loud yell, "CHOCOLATE FRIGGIN CHIPS!"

I recoil my face a bit, but smile back regardless, "mmm, my favorite!"

My sister always manages to lift my mood. Always.

When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I set her down and she goes off to find her twin. I sigh as I walk into the kitchen and sit at the table.

"Mornin' Nick," my dad greets me, "pancakes?" I nod eagerly as I greet my dad with a simple 'morning'.

I go over to the fridge as my dad places a plate of pancakes and a glass of milk down at the table.

I bring the syrup over and sit down, dad sits next to me.

He cautiously starts speaking, "me an' the twins are going to visit your mother in a bit," he falters slightly as he looks at me, "do you... do you want to come with us? I know the kids would like ye to."

I shake my head as I pout syrup over my pancakes, "I was planning on visiting her later today... I..." My voice shakes slightly, so I take a breath, "I have some things I wanted to do first."

I sigh.

My father places a hand on my shoulder, "you're a strong kid, Nicholas."

I feel my eyes wanting to water, but I blink away the feeling.

My mom used to always tell me that I was strong too, especially when she was anxious or scared about something.

Whether it was four in the morning, or three in the afternoon, mama would pull me into a hug, brush her hands through my hair, and kiss my nose. She would do all that until she had calmed down.

Then she would look me in the eyes and tell me, "you're so strong, Nicholas. You're so much stronger than me, so stay strong. For the twins, for your dad, for me."

Dad continues, "you're strong, but you don't always have to be." Bullshit. "I know, I know, don't... don't worry too much about me."

I smile at him slightly before turning back to my pancakes.

Small brown circles littered the pancakes, making the chocolate chips look like freckles.

He sighed as he stood up, "we'll be at the butterfly park afterwards if you want to join us," he finished. I nod and drink some milk.

He leaves the kitchen and goes off to find the twins, leaving me at the table.

I let out a long sigh, how many times have I sighed today?

I hate summer.