Supernova Rapture

Chapter 6

"What happened? You're so sure you can't ever father a baby, were you sick or hurt? Did you try with someone once and find you couldn't?" She asked clearly she wasn't wanting a baby for herself right then but Darien knew she could tell how much he was bothered by it and she was giving him the chance to talk openly about it.

Darien wasn't sure why it suddenly hurt so much more than it ever had before to know that he couldn't make a baby. On his home planet he wouldn't have known any of his offspring as being his own anyway. Then after that mission when he was damaged, he became a genetic dead end. It was one reason why he was chosen as the surveyor for the extended mission to Earth. He would be a safe choice in case he did find a sexual partner during the mission or possibly several partners after all he was going to be there for three full years. They couldn't take that chance and with Darvien there was no chance of half-breed offspring being made and humans discovering his people because of the child. But right now he wanted that possibility. He wanted to make a baby with Kressida so that when the time came and his mission was complete she could still have a piece of him with her always.

Laying in his bed with her naked in his arms and looking at him with such a tender look in her eyes he knew he was lost. He loved her and didn't seriously intend to ever go home. He wanted to stay with her and raise their baby together like a normal human family. It was dangerous and stupid and selfish and impossible to do. Even if he faked his death to hide his people would come to take the body away before any human could get a close enough look to see it wasn't human remains.

He knew he couldn't hide and he couldn't stay. No matter how much he wanted to. All he could do was love her as much as her could in the time they had together and hope none of his people ever learned of his feelings. Falling in love was against their laws. It was a fundamental aspect of his people's society. If his feelings were discovered he would be arrested, tried, and then most likely executed. Their laws were absolute and there was no mercy to lawbreakers.

He pulled away from her and lay on his back and showed her the scar that ran up the inside of his thigh. Kressida looked at the scar there and traced it lightly with her fingers. It wasn't thick or rope like, as some scars on humans were. It was just a thin dark line that puckered slightly along the edges showing how deep the injury had actually been.

"What happened?" She asked concern writ large across her face.

"I was on a camping trip with my friend Kash, I went for a walk alone one afternoon and I tripped and fell down a cliff. This," he said rubbing his scar, "happened because of a sharp rock. We're lucky it didn't kill me. It missed all major blood vessels so I didn't bleed out but it was a couple days before Kash and the search party he put together were able to find me. It got badly infected. So it was partly the injury itself that left me sterile and partly the fever from the infection. Either way the doctors told me I would never be a father."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you!" Kressida said and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"It's ok, I never really saw myself as a father anyway." He said trying to brush off his feelings of remorse.

"I don't believe that." Kressida said surprising him by wiping away a tear from his eye. "You're too kind and gentle to have never thought about having children. You would have made a terrific father."

"I could still adopt if I were ever lucky enough to find a wife willing to do that. To give up any chance of a child of her own and take in and raise one born to someone else and make it part of us."

" When you say it like that I don't think that would be too hard for you." Kressida's sincerity rang clearly in her voice.

"What about you?" He asked her. She looked suddenly every confused.