Life a quick overview -short story

Where it all started..

Hi, my name is Charlotte Miller I am currently 14 years old and live in London. I'm just your average 14 year old but I'd like to tell you my story.

 My life was pretty normal; as a child I was happy up until I moved primary schools I was mildly bullied because of my hair and my 'tom-boy like attitude' I thought nothing of it thou.

That was still a great point in my life as it taught me how to be resilient for secondary school.

Or so I thought... In year 7 everyone was just finding their feet and we were all as confused as each other. I was placed in class 7L away from all my new friends but I didn't mind too much. Year 7 was pretty much normal. 

The problems started in year 8; I was going through a lot of emotional abuse though nobody saw it.

Unfortunately, it was not only by my 'best friends' but also by others in my class. My so called 'best friends' would always point out flaws on me but never in me. As much as people thought I was happy I wasn't. The main things they would comment on would be my weight (how I was too fat) or my skin (how I had too many spots) the usual things but even I have a breaking point. I usually would just brush the comments off and think nothing of them. Like oh sure pftt.

My personal favorite was when someone called "a f****ing ugly fake Barbie doll" it's as if you can never win, without makeup I was called "spots mania" and so much more and with makeup I was called "a f****ing fake ass Barbie doll." Yes at the age of 13.

Now looking back I call myself weak because of what I did. I contemplated suicide after being told to "go and die" numerous times by a fellow classmate and yes they may have been joking but after all the hate I took it seriously and ended up falling into an endless spiral. 

When I spoke up about my thoughts I heard more and more people talking "she's doing it for attention" "Ugh you can tell it's fake".

I regret caring so much about what others think and allowing them to break down the concrete walls I spent years building. I hope that no one will have to experience the amount of emotional and physical pain I put myself through.

After being placed under suicide watch and constant supervision I had realised the mistake I had made. One day I thought back to a time where life was okay and I recall seeing myself as a child and seeing how words were thrown left right and center and yet none of them managed to bypass the strong walls I had built. It was as if the hate were gamma waves trying to pass through a mass of paper.

I only found comfort at my tutoring place as my friends there were so supportive and I not only figuratively but also literally owe them my life. They convinced me to move schools and my parents were extremely supportive and helped along the way.

My parents were so glad that I was moving out of such a toxic environment. Since then I have not only flourished in my education but also as a human being. I moved schools and at first it was rough as I didn't know anyone but soon I made the best group of friends I have ever had in my life. They are so pure and true to their words, their actions portray the light inside their hearts.

 A major contrast I have seen is that my current friends will always point out the flaws inside of me instead of the ones inside of me. Conversely, they will tell me how to improve on them instead of letting me continue with them.

I now look back to see the roller coaster I call life and it hits me hard because I think how could I have been so stupid and let people cut me down. We all have flaws but if your best friends use them against you as a mechanism to get away from their own guilt than are the really your best friends?