Week One of Disaster

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After throwing my clothes in the luggage and throw it at the trunk, closing it shut on my car. I grab the bags from the living room couch to the passenger back seat. “Mommy, where are you going?” Hearing my daughter’s voice makes me drop my bags down the ground, shut the passenger door calmly, and turn to her. “Sweetie, I’m going on a nine week vacation to help a friend back on his feet.” I tell Miranda Grace. “You’re gonna spend time with Grandma, Grandpa, your uncles, and your aunts while I’m spending my vacation. Also, Grandma Meagan is gonna take you trick or treating with your aunts Jessica and Macy.”

“Yay! Trick or treating with Grandma number two, Aunt Jessica, and Aunt Macy! I wish you could go trick or treating with me this year like we always do every year.” Miranda Grace sighs. “I know, pumpkin. We will dress up for this Christmas because that’s when I’m coming back home, sweetie. This is what I promise you, baby cubby.” I vow.

“Maeve! Where are you going?” Luna Belle, Daniel, Leigh, and Ron shout in unison with worries in their faces until Miss Meagan, Jessica, Macy, and Mr. Trevor Jenson walk towards me with my parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Jenson! We haven’t seen you in a while! What brings you and Jessica and Macy here?” Leigh gasps. “We’re here to wish Maeve good luck because she’s gonna help Teagan to stop him going out from woman to woman unprotected and help him continue his football career as soon as possible before it’s too late.” Miss Meagan clarifies. My siblings turn their heads and Ron asks, “What’s going with Teagan now, besides with that Charise cheating on me?” “Ron!” I whisper harshly, puncturing his shoulder with my elbow. Ron and I are fraternal twins, so that’s why our parents can sometimes forget our differences from each other like our faces because we look alike.

“Teagan’s about to get kicked out of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers because he’s contracted with STD’s with Faye and Charise. Oh, Ron, I’m very sorry that the skank cheated on both of you and your sister. One day, I hope you’ll find a girl who is someone new and can knock you off your feet.” Miss Meagan advises, patting and rubbing his back in circles. “Aw, that’s okay, Miss Meagan. Actually, I’m seeing a new woman now. Her name is Bianca Tsu.” Ron sighs in awe.

“Bianca Tsu?! My fellow Victoria’s Secret mate?! When did you start having feelings for her?” I laugh the question, getting into the car to buckle my seatbelt and starting the engine by igniting the car. “Ever since she came to our house this afternoon, which makes it four hours ago, sis.” Ron answers. “Wait a minute! Mom? Dad? You’re not sending Maeve to help Teagan at their house, right?” Leigh questions.”Yes, honey comb, we are.” Dad divulges.

“Dad, they’re gonna kill each other, just like Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes and Andre Rison did twenty years ago!” Luna Belle exclaims. “Guys, get in the car!” Mom announces and everybody else are joining in the van. Thinking about three years ago like it was yesterday all over again, I’m not the one out of Teagan’s forty three women, who has an STD. I’m still clean, baby! I snap my fingers rhythmically for my celebration of not catching an STD and singing along Jennifer Hudson’s song, Walk it Out.

You got me hypnotized

You got a look and a something money can’t buy

Walk it out with me, walk it out with me

I got you hypnotized

I got the staring and from the look in your eyes

You wanna walk it out with me

Walk it out with me, walk it out with me.

I pull up to the driveway in front of the beautiful villa that compares to my family’s home, but it’s smaller. Two other vehicles pull up on the drive way and I just grab my luggage from the trunk of my minivan  while  the door of the car slams shut, seeing Miss Meagan marching to the door. She places both bending elbows and hands onto her hips. The door springs open to release three sleazy blonde bimbo march, topless with bikini bottoms running outsides screaming. Mr. and Mrs. Jenson, Jessica, Macy, my family, Miranda Grace, and myself drop our mouths to the granite. I’m about to go off; my temples are throbbing, my face going from light tan to tomato red, my arch eyebrows narrows, and my long nail sharpening. I run to Miranda Grace to conceal her eyes and she agrees by cupping her eyes with her little hands.

“Mom. Dad, I’ll be right back and please don’t tell her to uncover her eyes until I finish having a talk with Mr. Thing.” I say. I march towards the girls and one of them question, “Who’s she?” “Teagan’s the father of my daughter.” I mention, throwing the paternity test at them. Their eyes appear bug-like as they pick up the sheets and the girl with the medium length strawberry blonde hair  tremors, “Sh…Shh… She’s… She’s right!” “And look! There’s her daughter! DiDi, Keshia, let’s go!” The girl cries, but I catch their ponytails of hair in my hands and I threaten, “If you ever walk out the house and my family, even my three year old daughter to see the three of you half naked in front of them again, I’ll make your lives a living hell. Put some clothes on and respect your manners and Teagan’s parents’ house! NOW!!” I walk into the house to find the groupies’ clothes when Miss Meagan screaming her head off towards Teagan. I start giggling at Teagan for being confronted by his own mother, but not only Miss Meagan; Jessica, Macy, and Mr. Jenson.

“TEAGAN! WHY DID YOU INVITE THOSE GROUPIES IN OUR HOUSE??!! THIS IS OUR HOUSE AS A FAMILY AND YOU’RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF EVERYBODY IN OUR HOUSE ALL THE TIME AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE…” A loud splash of water interrupts Miss Meagan’s shouts. “OH, HELL NO!” I holler, running with Miss Meagan to the backyard pool and catch four half nude women. “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, TRAMPS! HE HAS A THREE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!” Miss Meagan yells and we throw the girls out the house with their clothes. We walk back outside to see the scantily girls have disappear. “Mom, what is she doing here?” Teagan asks Miss Meagan. Teagan has dirty blonde mop hair, green eyes, light peach skin, athletic build, 6 foot 2, and he is such a pain in the ass.

“No, Teagan, what the fuck were they doing here, disrespecting your family’s house rules?!” I correct. “Fuck off, Maeve! That’s the bastard’s baby, not mine.” Teagan replies. Now, I’m about to kick his ass for talking shit about our daughter. I run to Teagan and jump on his back. “DON’T YOU DARE EVER SAY SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT MY DAUGHTER! YOU ARE HER FATHER, ACCEPT HER!” I holler. “As if! I’m not taking care another man’s baby! She looks like somebody else that you’ve slept with.” Teagan threatens. “Wait a minute! Who are you calling a bastard’s baby? Are you calling your own daughter the bastard’s baby?! Miranda Grace is not the bastard’s baby! You’re the bastard for not taking care of your baby with Maeve! You know she’s yours! You know she’s yours, Teagan Michael Jenson! She takes care of her every day, month, week, and year, Teagan! You have missed three years of your daughter’s life because you always have women over our house all the time and it makes me sad to see you catch deadly diseases! How do you even think I feel to see my own son’s career falling down?!” Miss Meagan weeps, taking my luggage with her and I follow her as Mr. Jenson, Jessica, and Macy continue to scream towards Teagan. Miss Meagan and I walk upstairs to the biggest bedroom I’ve ever discover. Miss Meagan places my luggage onto the bed as she sits down.

“Maeve, I am sorry about my son said about Miranda Grace. Everything is ripping my son apart because of the fast women he’s been seeing all the time. There is food in the kitchen and take a look in your closet.” Miss Meagan instructs. I take steps of opening the closet to see the cabinets stocking of different cereal boxes, oatmeal, donuts, cheese puffs bread, crackers, Little Debbie snacks, sparkling water, potato chips, Fiber One, Special K, and nutri-grain bars. “Wow! Thank you, Miss Meagan!” I cheer in awestruck, hugging her. “You’re welcome, sweetie.” Miss Meagan responds.

After Miss Meagan and I walk downstairs along with Mr. Jenson, Jessica, Macy, and Teagan, I hug my family to tell them I love them and will miss them, especially to Miranda Grace before they leave. I pick up the paternity tests and go inside the house. I cannot wait to change Teagan’s life, once and for all. Teagan may be a huge pain in the ass, but I’m gonna try hardest to change his perspective forever.            

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