Holding My Breath ~ Larry Stylinson

Chapter 17

I didn't do anything the next day. I just sat in my room, consumed with confusion. I would occasionally hear Harry walk past or cough, but he never spoke. At around 2pm, my phone vibrated on my bed. It vibrated again and again until I picked it up and threw it across the room with anger. I was angry at myself for being so stupid, but also angry at Harry for making Zayn do that. What if I'd have gone along with it? Then everyone would have gotten hurt again.

"Lou?" I heard a fragile voice call as there was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I tried to sound as casual as I could. The door creaked open and Harry walked in slowly with his eyes on the floor.

"You haven't had anything to eat or drink for over 24 hours now." He stated, walking over with a glass of water and a sandwich.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks." I lied, my stomach giving me away as it grumbled.

"Just eat it." He smirked and left. As the door closed, I grabbed the plate and ate everything on it. Harry had many flaws, but damn it he was good at making food, whatever it was. I put the plate back down on the side table and drank the water, sighing with relief. I was so hungry and thirsty, but I just didn't acknowledge it before. About 10 minutes later, Harry came in and silently took the plate and glass.

"Thank you." I said and he nodded before closing the door. I really just wanted to scream at him and make him trust me again, but that's impossible. As I thought more about it, I noticed the familiar feeling of tears welling up. I shook them away and got up, leaving my room slowly. I heard Harry move in the living room and darted across the hall to the front door, leaving quickly.

I knocked on the door quickly and Zayn opened it with an awkward smile.

"Hey."

"Hi.. We need to talk." I returned the awkward smile as he let me in. He walked us into the living room and we sat down, looking at each other. "Zayn, I love you, but not in the way you love me. You're my best friend.." I said as he nodded.

"Yeah, I was being stupid, I'm sorry-"

"I know he made you say it."

"He didn't have to. I was going to say it whether he asked me to or not." He shrugged awkwardly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not over him." I shook my head.

"I know you're not.. I just thought I could... Never mind." he stopped himself and I stood up.

"So we're okay, yeah? No weirdness?" I smiled and he returned it.

"Definitely."

"I'll see you later." I hugged him friendlily and wondered where I could go now. The only place I could think of was back home where Harry was most probably still over-thinking everything.

"Yeah." He said into my shoulder slowly. I could tell he was enjoying it more than he should, but I didn't pull away. 'I don't have feelings for Zayn. I just need a hug.' I thought to myself as the hug got tighter. Let's be honest, who wouldn't want a hug from Zayn? He was practically sex on legs. Shut up, Louis, stop thinking like that!

He hugged me tighter for a few more moments before I pulled away. I looked into his eyes and noticed how deep and brown they were. STOP IT LOUIS. Okay fine. I like him. But it would be unfair to have a relationship with him when Harry hasn't even forgiven me yet. I smiled and squeezed his shoulder a little before turning around and heading for the door. I left feeling even more confused than when I went in. God damn it, whenever I go to sort something out, it either goes really well, or it just gets 10 times worse. I wiped a hand down my face. So I like them both. But only one of them likes me. Zayn.