Holding My Breath ~ Larry Stylinson

Chapter 13

**Author's note: The end is near, just saying. Maybe 6-7 more chapters? Depends how well the writing goes. Enjoy, although this chapter might have you going "WTF, KIRSTY. NO!" for a while haha**

Zayn, why the fuck did you have to kiss me?! WHY?! I layed in bed alone and tired, unable to fall asleep. I sat up and rubbed my head. Why did I like it? It wasn't love though, it was lust. Zayn was an attractive guy and he was so kind... I played the moment over in my head again and again, making myself want more. STOP IT, LOUIS. You're in love with Harry. You can't do that to him.

I found myself out of bed and pacing soon. My phone buzzed and I picked it up with a gulp, it was from Zayn.

"I can hear you pacing.. XD" it read. A small smile spread across my face and I dropped my phone onto my bed, heading out of my room. I walked down the stairs and knocked on Zayn's door, quietly. He came to the door in his boxers and smiled when he opened it. I walked inside without saying a word, he closed the door behind me. He turned around and the look in his eyes looked exactly like what I had going on inside my head. Lust. I bit my lip and put my hand on his back, pulling him into my chest. He smiled and pushed his lips to mine, our bodies closing the space between us. I groaned as he put his hands under the back of my shirt, his fingers tracing along my skin and giving me goosebumps. He pulled away and opened the buttons of my shirt, pulling it over my head and throwing it behind him. A bolt of guilt shot through me as I saw the picture of the band on his shelf, my eyes focusing on Harry. That feeling was soon pushed away by Zayn's luscious lips and I turned the frame around, refusing to look at the photo.

Zayn grabbed my wrists and pushed his door open with his back, still kissing me. He turned me round and pushed me onto the bed. I smiled and waited for him as he slowly hung over me teasingly. He kissed down my jaw line and neck, arriving at my shoulders. He kissed all the way down my body, arriving at my jeans. He pulled them off before touching me through my boxers. I threw my head back and bit my lip, stopping the groans.

"Where are you going?" Zayn asked, the thin bed covers draped over his lower body.

"You can't tell Harry about this." I said bluntly, instantly regretting what I'd done. I pulled on the rest of my clothes and went to the door. "I'm sorry, Zayn." I added before I closed the door behind me. Oh my God. What the fuck have I done?! I fell to my knees and tears started to fall from my eyes. Okay, so we didn't really have sex, but we got so close to doing it... So, it's not that bad right? Oh who am I kidding? I made out with Zayn then got into bed naked with him. That's totally not okay. I guess Harry needs to know. I rushed up the elevator and got inside the apartment as the sun began to rise. I realised how tired I was.

"Boo is that you?" I heard Harry's sleepy voice and I felt like crying again.

"Yeah, babe it's me.." I said, my voice shaking. I couldn't tell him. Not now. 

"Where've you been all night?" he came out of his room looking worried.

"I... I was at Zayn's." I replied. Shit. It just slipped out.

"Oh ok." he smiled and went to make breakfast. He really trusts me...

"Haz.. I need to tell you something." I looked at the ground as I followed him.

"What's up?" He looked at me with his gorgeous green orbs, his curly hair framing his handsome face. I can't do it.

"Actually.. Nothing. It's nothing." I smiled. Maybe what he doesn't know won't hurt him. "I'm really tired, I'm gonna go back to bed." I walked back to my room and went into my bathroom, switching on the hot shower. The boiling water scalded my back as I desperately tried to scrub away the guilt. It really wasn't working. I stepped out with a sigh to find Harry standing in front of me with a worried look.