Deathbringer's Ultimate Guide To Being A Bodyguard ((Glorybringer!!))

Step 6: Learn How to Flirt

This is probably the most crucial step!

Flirting is a powerful piece of magic that, when done right, will get you the gir- job, guaranteed. Using key body language and flashing those pearly whites of yours will certainly have the queen begging on her knees for you. And if she flirts back: bonus points.

Here are 20 ways to flirt:

1. Eye contact.

Catch their eye when they walk past. This is an easy way to let your queen know you're interested... in being their bodyguard. Even the most subtle glance can initiate a spark.

What not to do: stare for longer than a few seconds. You will gain a bad reputation as a creep and I'm afraid there is no coming back from that.

2. A little bit of touch

Ah the classic physical contact. Just a slight touch of the arm or talon or wherever you feel comfortable touching. But never go too full-on first touch. If you know what I mean.

3. Nicknames

You know that feeling of sharing a laugh, inside joke or funny story with someone? Sharing something as stupid as a nickname will undeniably strengthen the bond between you and your queen.

For example; Glory calls me Deathy. I know she hates it when anyone else calls me that.

4. Cheesy pick-up lines.

Are you an ibis?

'Cause I've bin-chicken you out.

When used appropriately, pick-up lines are the best way to make sure a girl never forgets you.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

'Cause honey you're angel.

5. Teasing.

There's nothing wrong with throwing in an occasional insult.

Girls, a bit of advice: if a guy is constantly making fun of you, perhaps he's trying to flirt with you.

6. Make excuses.

No, I don't mean 'my dog ate my homework' type of excuses.

Girls notice when guys make excuses to hang out with them. It's just our nature to twist the truth a bit.

7. Bat the eyelashes.

Hey, guys can do this too.

If you have gorgeous, voluptuous eyelashes like mine you are automatically allowed to brag and show them off.

8. Occasional compliments.

Example: hey Glory, your flower crown is looking extra extravagant today.

What not to do:

Tsunami: Hey sparkling teeth, I totally love three of your claws but not the others, and I wish your nose was a herring so I could eat it, and also your wings sound like sharks snoring.

9. Whistle

Whistling not only is a great way to stalk your prey, but to catch your Queen's attention.

If she's looking especially gorgeous today, a sexy whistle will do the trick. But please, don't sound like a creep.

10. Give her flowers.

Glory hates flowers, but I get them for her anyway.

11. Make her jealous.

Glory also hates when other girls get more attention from me.

It drives her crazy.

12. Make her feel special.

This trick is also effective. When there are other dragons around, treat your Queen differently. Show her more attention. She will notice this and probably feel a bit special. Girls like feeling special.

13. Ask for help.

14. Ask their opinion.

Showing interest in someone else's beliefs is a great way to strengthen your relationship with them.

Me: Glory how do you feel about the prophecy being fake? I know I was pretty annoyed t-

Glory: Oh I was more than annoyed! If I ever find one of those stupid 'seers' I will personally make their life hell. To think that I went through six years of captivity and cruelty all for some stupid hope that wasn't even real!....

I don't think you want to hear the end of that conversation.

15. Bite your bottom lip.

If Victoria Secret Models can pull this off, so can you!

16. Brag.

This method of flirting is proven.

I'm the world's greatest assassin.

You already feel enlightened don't ya?

17. Play dumb.

I honestly couldn't come up with a seventeenth trick.

Pretty dumb right?

18. Puns.

Seeing Glory is like seeing a banana. Quite ap-peeling.

19. Bend and Snap.

Make sure you practice this technique before you try it or you will look ridiculous.

Pretend to drop something in front of your Queen. Bend over and then BAM, snap up and make sure to look irresistible.

20. Consistently smile.

Pretty easy huh? Unless you're an IceWing.

Now that you have passed Step 6 it is time to move onto Step 8.

(Sorry Starflight is screaming at me right now. I meant Step 7.)

Step 7: Befriend her friends.