Drowning ▸ Lucaya [ republished ]

vi.

❝how can I say this without breaking? How can I say this without taking over? How can I put it down into words, when it's almost too much for my soul alone. I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.❞
- Hurts like hell ; Fleurie

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Rain droplets hit the windows as Maya is snuggled in a black fuzzy blanket, the gloomy afternoon sky and coconut scented candle her only source of light.

She hears the front door close and quickly feels arms wrapped over her cold frame. "Two days. You were god knows where for two days with no call," her aunt Sadie states, wanted to be mad at the teen girl, but also understanding where she was coming from.

Maya's lifeless blue eyes turn to meet the eldest Hart's green ones. It was crazy to think that the day before with Lucas she was happy and fuzzy, and then numb the next. It only happens when she's alone, loneliness allows her thoughts to consume her.

"He got out."

The older blonde sighs, kneeling down next to her and engulfing her in another hug as she allowed a few tears to flow down her cheeks, "I know," her voice breaks as she puts a genuine effort to comfort the teen girl.

Maya couldn't help the crunching feeling deep in her stomach, she felt stuck.

"He's out living. She's dead and he's living," Maya says, almost in a hushed tone. She hadn't allowed herself to grieve, not in a healthy way at least.

The last two years Maya had tried extremely hard to convince herself she was 'okay' by simply not letting herself truly feel. Sadie attentively waited for maya to self destruct.

Even when it came to touchy subjects like that, Maya was too prideful to admit that it got to her and fucked her up mentally and emotionally in so many ways. She didn't want to leave any trail of emotion, but she let it out the tiniest bit when arriving at Lucas' doorstep drunk.

"I miss her," Maya says, finally giving herself the chance to break when letting out those simple three words.

Sadie didn't know what to do, Maya was always dry and standoffish and never did her aunt catch her sobbing so hardly.

She chocked on her abrupt sobs, "my mom died, sh-she's dead," Maya says aloud for the first time ever since it all went down.

Maya cried on her aunt's shoulder, Sadie's hair attaching to Maya's tear stained face, "Mommy."

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Maya's last two years consisted of shutting people out and continuing a dull cycle for a routine.

Two nights ago when she got drunk, she did something she thought was well deserved, but she didn't know how to catch a grip and was afraid of doing something worse. She sure as hell knew she was capable of it. Maya was able to walk away that time, but she went out for some "air" and was anxious about her going back.

But there Maya found herself, approaching her destination, walking the streets of New York, heading to a familiar place she hadn't been to in forever, her cheeks stills soaked with tearful mascara streaks.

She stands and waits for the door to be answered, feeling a knot in her throat when watching it creak open.

She takes in the sight of what seemed to be a distraught Maya, "Maya, wh-," the elder brunette begins, but pauses and engulfs her tightly.

They let go of each other, sharing nods before Maya continues into the hallway that led to the familiar bedroom.

Maya looks at everyone, confused when seeing more than one person, even Lucas.

"Maya what happened?" The brunette questions in worry, seeing the dried up runny mascara.

The blonde looks up from the ground, "hey Riley."

Maya closed Riley's door, kneeling down in the middle of her room, in the middle of her old scattered friends. Zay, Farkle, Riley, smackle, and Lucas.

She settled her bag in front of her, making eye contact with everyone in the room as she pulled out a silver urn that read her mother's name and date of birth to date of death, placing it in front of her.

Maya softly clears her throat, "I didn't mean to walk away," she states in a hushed way.

The reunited clan all stared at her in shock, parted lips and sighs going throughout the room.

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This was extremely short, but I haven't updated in months. I want to start patching up the clan in upcoming updates.

Anyways, thanks for being patient. I had forgotten about this story and got caught up with my other one, plus school, and family shit.

Bye ! 👋🏼