The Light Behind Your Eyes... (a boyxboy story)

AN- so this is my first boyxboy story so go easy on me so please comment,vote and follow... so Enjoy guys ily!!

I can’t take this anymore it’s been four months and I hate this life. It’s been four months since my mother’s funeral. It’s been four months since my family turned their backs on me. It’s been four months since I got put into this foster care system; it’s been four months since my real family found out I was gay. It’s been four months since my life has changed and I completely hate it.

 And everyday I wish I could die so I can be with my mother the only person who cared for me and now that she is gone I have no one.

I’m not one of those suicidal emo kids who hate the world and shit. I’ve never tried to kill my self I have self harmed a few times but never with the intention of killing myself I always think of it as that I don’t deserve the luxury of dying. You see dying is a gift it’s where you can close your eyes and rest in peace. Who am I to go and claim that gift, when it’s not even my time to go yet?

 My name is Justin I'm 16 years old I used to live in New york with my mother but after her death I’ve been moved around a lot and I just feel like a piece of furniture and not that luxury furniture that will be delivered to a giant mansion with a loving family an liv every piece of furniture’s dream.  I'm currently staying at a foster home in Chicago.  And I really do hate my life I have no one to talk to okay let me rephrase that I have no one my age to talk to I’m the oldest kid here and I'm going to be staying here until I'm too old to stay here then I’ll be kicked out and have to fend for my self in this cruel world. I won’t starve or be homeless considering the money that my mom and dad left me. Yes my dad is dead as well he died when I was five he was a soldier and he died in Iraq. I don’t know much about my father maybe that is why I don’t miss him. But I can’t help but think about how happy my mother must be she is finally reunited with her true love. While I am stuck here at this crappy foster care home.

 I'm lucky that everyone here is younger than me and they cant understand the fact that I'm not socially desirable. You see I'm not every girl or guys dream guy. I have dark brown hair that falls down to my shoulders I have dark green eyes they look kind of creepy sometimes. I'm really tall and skinny I'm six feet tall. I recently died my hair black and that makes me even more socially unwanted I loved music I play the electric guitar, I sing and I scream. I listen to bands like Slipknot and suicide silence. Yes that is what makes me even more undesirable in the public’s eyes, but I think of my self as a chilled kind of guy. But no, the public has to see me as some sort of undesirable monster and the fact that I'm gay doesn’t help either. So as you can see I got my shit cut out for me.  I don’t really get bullied except fro the occasional shove in the locker and maybe being called a faggot once or twice a day but that doesn’t mater to me any way my mother told me too shake those people off and forget about the haters as she would call them this is one of reasons I looked up to my mom she always accepted me for being gay and she even supported me, she always gave me the best advice here.