CHEXTON: My White Butterfly

To Tell the Truth- Chapter 4

Ethan stood before the door knowing this was a conversation he had to have, though not one he wanted. He cared about her- she was a great woman, but she had to know how he truly felt. Their lives would change after this. Don't be a coward, he thought, just do it!

"Babe is that you? You're early." She called.

"Yeah, umm, I need to talk to you."

"Well, can it wait until we eat? I'm starving." Ethan's expression let her know this was serious. "I guess I'll have to wait."

Ethan motioned for Vicki to sit down. "Yeah, I'm sorry, but it can't wait. We need to talk."

She shook her head in disbelief- she already knew. "You're in love with April and we're over, right?"

Totally shocked Ethan began to apologize. "Vicki, I'm sorry. I tried to forget about her, to keep my distance, to focus only on us. But it hasn't worked. And now she's planning to leave for a long time, and I can't let her go without knowing how she feels."

Vicki's homicidal laughter echoed throughout the apartment. She never remembered him going through this much trouble when she was deployed, but for April, he has to know! "How she feels? It's obvious! She loves you!" she paused, "and you love her." Vicki's voice dripped with disdain. "You may not have realized it, but you've loved her this entire time. Hell, I've known since the day she got shot and you screamed her name out in bed."

Ethan didn't like what she was implying. "That's not fair! It was a nightmare!"

"A nightmare about her dying! You couldn't sleep for a week and then you started talking in your sleep again. I can only imagine that her dying was too overwhelming for you to handle." She got up and started to cross the room. "And let's be real, we were never intimate like you two were." Confusion was visible on Ethan's face. "Yes, we have sex, but that doesn't automatically mean we are intimate. Every time I'd come to the hospital, until the last few months, you two were always in each other's orbit. Hovering in each other's personal spaces, without any discomfort or hesitation, moving like there was nothing separating you. Yet you're supposed to be my guy! But when we're together, I have to reach out to touch you. When you're with her, you're so close your breath touches her. So, how else should I read the situation?"

Ethan knew she was right. He hadn't paid attention to how he and April moved so effortlessly together. She was a true compliment to him. An opposite that attracts, but makes him whole. A Yin to his Yang. "Vicki, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Honestly, I thought she didn't love me. So when you reappeared in my life, I took it as a sign that I should move on. But I never stopped caring about her."

"No, be honest, you never stopped loving her. And you just wasted 9 months of my life, because you were honest with yourself!"

"This is my fault. I'm sorry if you think I wasted your time. I care about you and I've enjoyed these past months, but I think it's best if we go our separate ways."

"Agreed Lt. Commander. Agreed." Vicki snapped retreating to the bedroom. "I'll be gone by the time you return." Ethan took her hint, walked out into the hallway, and called Maggie. She pushed him to get the locks changed but he didn't want to wait to see April, so Maggie volunteered to wait for the locksmith and to see Vicki off. Maggie called April and told her she was coming by to see her, so April would stay put, giving Ethan a chance to speak with her alone. Ethan chose to trust Maggie's interpretation of Vicki's comments, because obviously he was clueless about women. However, there was one woman he seemed to instinctively understand, but he would have to get both of them to be brutally honest about their feelings.