Friends with Benefits || кσσкν

Chapter 33

there are those days when you just don't feel like yourself. out of body you'd call it. as if you're just there and everything is happening around you. you aren't cared for, nobody asks how you're doing, how you feel. you are just something simply placed in the world for no reason at all.

everyone has those days.

it was nine thirty at night, yoongi, jimin, namjoon, jungkook, jin, and taehyung were all gathered in yoongi's apartment. they ordered pizza and watched movies together. but a phone call interrupted them. yoongi paused the movie and skipped over to his house phone. he picked it up and his face immediately went pale.

"what's wrong?" jimin asked as he repositioned himself on the couch. "can we go now?" yoongi said to the person on the other line. the other five boys looked at him confused and worried. yoongi hung up the phone and stared down in disbelief. "yoongi what happened? is everything okay?" jin asked.

yoongi looked at him with tears in his eyes. the sudden news made him out of his senses and he lost it. he broke down to the floor as sobs left his mouth. he didn't want to seem so vulnerable but he couldn't take it. "yoongi!" taehyung yelled as he ran over to the sobbing boy.

the rest followed as they crouched down trying to calm him. "what happened?" namjoon asked as he rubbed his back. "h-hoseok, h-h-he-." yoongi couldn't even talk. his words were muffled by his sobs. "h-hospital! my fault all my fault!" he yelled as he gripped at his hair pulling the locks. jungkook grabbed his hands harshly and made him look up at him.

"tell us what happened now." he demanded. taehyung looked at him. "they found h-his body in a lake! he tried killing himself and it's a-all my fault!" yoongi said. everyone was quite. "i-is he okay?" jin asked his own tears threatening to fall. "they s-said he's unconscious a-and his body is almost f-frozen from j-jumping." yoongi explained.

"we have to go see him." jimin said as he got up and grabbed all of their coats. "he's gonna die. it's all my fault. it's everyones fault. we should've loved him! all he wanted was to be loved! we suck we let this happened we-." namjoon cut him off.

"shut up yoongi! do not blame everything on us. everyone wants to be loved but not everyone can. it isn't anyone's fault right not accept hoseok's. we didn't let anything happen. we tried yoongi we really did. we just let him go." namjoon said.

"let's go." jimin said as he handed the coats to everyone. they all hurried into the car. namjoon was the one driving as everyone else crowded. soon they were on their way to the hospital.

-

"why did they call you." jimin asked yoongi as they waited in the waiting room. but yoongi didn't answer. he just sat there. "yoongi." jimin warned. but yoongi just looked at him. "don't do this not right now." namjoon said. jungkook sighed as he grabbed yoongi harshly. he pulled him into the bathroom and locked he door.

"you can't be acting like a bitch!" he yelled. yoongi stared up at him. anger filled his eyes as he punched jungkook. "who the fuck are you talking too! my friend is on the verge of dying and you're telling me im not aloud to be upset!" yoongi yells as he pushed him into the wall.

jungkook touched his jaw as he harshly pushed yoongi off of him. he slammed him into the wall and held his jaw. "i know you're upset but you aren't the only one fucking grieving. we are worried too. you can't just sit out there and act like that. you need to comfort us too. this - his situation isn't all about you, yoongi. we all care too." jungkook said.

he pulled away from yoongi who just sat there. "you don't understand." yoongi said. "i should've forgave him." he said. "for what? what he did was wrong. what you did was wrong. you all blamed jimin for everything. jimin isn't perfect either. what he did to taehyung i could have killed him for." jungkook said.

"what are you trying to say?" yoongi asked. "what i'm saying is that not everyone is perfect. every human makes some fucked up decision that could ruin their lives forever. and i let him go. and he did something so stupid because i fucked up. he fucked up. everyone fucked up." jungkook said as he began crying.

yoongi looked at him confused. "you're not talking about hoseok anymore." yoongi said. jungkook covered his face as he backed up into a wall. he slid down until his knees were up to his face. yoongi walked over to him and sat by his side. "what's wrong? it's my turn to comfort you." he said.

"family isn't shit." jungkook laughed as his tears continued down his face. "they say they will protect and love you and never stab you in the back. but sometimes it's a lie." jungkook said. "did someone die?" yoongi asked staring down at the floor. jungkook shook his head.

"when someone in your family dies it's so devastating. when my grandmother died i didn't speak to anyone for weeks. but when you break trust with family, it's like you can't trust anyone." jungkook said. "my brother fucked me over so much i don't even want to speak to him. but i still love him and miss him but i just can't trust him." jungkook said.

"just like i am with hoseok." yoongi said. jungkook looked over at him. "we all are fucked up aren't we." he said as he laughed. "nobody is perfect." yoongi started. "fuck everyone! fuck the world! fuck people! hey even fuck yourself!" jungkook yelled at his tears continued.

yoongi laughed loudly as his tears didn't stop either. "fuck everyone and every thing!" he screamed. the two laughed loudly as they started rolling onto the floor. their laughter didn't die down and neither did their tears. "fuck life man. just fuck everything." jungkook said. "all you need is yourself sometimes." yoongi said.

"that feeling of being isolated is sometimes the best feeling ever. there is no problems it's just yourself against the world." jungkook said. "just being here on earth is amazing too. just being to yourself. you don't have to worry about anything or anyone but yourself." he continued.

that's when they both realized. they both became silent as they stared up at the ceiling with hooded eyes.

living in this world yourself is the best thing anyone would want to experience...

only if they would.