Me in the End

2

We should hang out.

Well, I did it.

Again.

I asked him to hang out. Over a hour ago. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I always tell myself that he is into me but deep down I know it isn't me he is into, it's what I give him. The pictures. The texts. My stomach churns at the thought of everything I have sent him.

The other times I had asked him to hang out, he would respond with a 'lol' followed by some excuse as to why he couldn't. I wanted to be strong and tell him to go fuck himself and to never text me again but I couldn't, there was something about him that just had me running back every time, like I have convinced myself that in some twisted way that this is love.

Nope, that's it. I am so fucking done with that scum-

My phone buzzed with a message and I nearly sprint across my room, that I had been nervously pacing for the past 30 minutes, and dive across my bed to reach my phone. But as soon as I clicked the message icon, my brows furrowed in disappointment and I release the loudest, most obnoxious groan when I realize it wasn't James but instead was Mathew.

What are you doing after school this Friday?

I huffed a frustrated sigh. Mathew and I had been consistently talking for about a week now and although he is, by far, the most attractive guy to ever be somewhat interested in me, he isn't the guy I wanted asking me that. The same guy who happens to be ignoring you. My annoying conscious, painfully, reminded me, spoiling my mood even further.

I rolled my eyes but decide to respond, despite my annoyance.

Um, nothing. Why?

I put my phone down and decided to shower, hoping by the time I got out I would have a message from James waiting for me.

After drying and moisturizing my freshly showered flesh, I eagerly checked my phone only to be met with a couple messages from Mathew.

Cool. We can go to my place and hang out.

I'll meet you in the front parking lot.

I stared at my phone, a little shocked. It's not that I wasn't use to a guy asking me to hang out (except for the one guy I wanted the most), but that was the thing, he didn't actually ask me. I didn't know how to feel about that just yet but as I looked at my conversation with James, I decided to cut my losses, once again, and go along with Mathew's plan.

* * *

The week, unsurprisingly, went by agonizingly slow, even slower when James didn't bother to message me once all week. Classes on Friday were shorter and usually were fairly laid back, probably due to the fact that everyone's brains, staff included, were completely fried. It wasn't until I saw Mathew confidently walking towards me with long strides and a small smirk, after school had let out, that I remembered our plans for after school. I took a glance behind him and saw my parents car waiting for me.

"Uh, hi. Can you hold on for just a sec? I totally forgot to tell my parents not to pick me up today." I rush out as his giant frame reaches me. He glances behind him, where my gaze was previously, and turns back towards me and gives a curt nod.

I give him a tight awkward smile and quickly side step him as I speed walk towards my parents. My mom smiles at me with a questioning glint in her eye as she briefly looks at something, or rather someone, behind me as she rolls her window just as I reach the car.

"Hi mama," I say as I lean in and give my mom a kiss "I totally forgot I had plans today after school. I'm sorry guys. Is it okay, if I hang out with a friend?" Just as I ask, I feel someone lightly kick me from behind, I turn to see Mathew looking at me with a small playful smile.

I feel my face start to flush as I turn back to my parents again, I open my mouth to say something else but my mom beats me to it, "Who is that?" she whisper shouts, interest thick in her voice and an oddly approving look in her eyes.

"Uh, my friend, Mathew. I told you about him before, remember?" I try to say in a hushed tone.

"Oh, that's him? Lana, he is way cute! Is he the friend you are hanging out with today?" She says causing my eyes to widen in both surprise from her outburst and embarrassment because I know Mathew heard her.

"Y-yeah, he is. Is that okay with you guys?" I ask my mom, even though I addressed both my parents because, let's be honest, moms are the real bosses.

"Oh of course honey! Have fun and let us know if you need us to pick you up later, love you" She gives my cheek a quick kiss before waving me off. I shake my head at my mom's not so subtle attempt at secretly mouthing 'he is handsome' as they pull away from the school.

I feel a small tug on my book bag and turn to glare at the culprit, he simply motions with his head to the direction of his truck.

What's with this dude and not using his words?

"So, what did you have in mind for this 'hang out'?" I ask him in playful tone trying my best not to be my normal awkward self, as we reach his truck.

Instead of answering me right away, he surprises me by opening my door for me then leans effortlessly against the door as he looks down at me and answers "Oh, I plan on getting to know you very," he pauses and looks me up and down, "very well." He finished while biting his lip.

I give him a playful push to the chest and lets out the deepest and most beautiful laugh I have ever heard. After getting me in the passenger seat, he rounds the front of the truck and slides into his seat still lightly chuckling.

"I was only half joking, ya know?" he says after a few minutes of driving in silence, the only noise being the radio playing some metal song quietly.

I look over at him and silently question him.

"I do plan on getting to know everything about you. And although you are very beautiful, I don't plan on touching you until you ask me to." he explains without taking his eyes off the road.

I start to feel a rush of blood feel my cheeks, as I fight the smile from my face. I decide not to comment on the fact that he said 'until' I ask him to touch me, instead of 'if' and instead I take this car ride as a chance to really look at him. He is wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt. Literally so simple and effortless, yet he looked absolutely breathtaking. His hair was hidden beneath an Atlanta Braves baseball hat, his jaw line was so strikingly prominent that it almost looks like he clenching it constantly. My eyes trail down to his shoulder then down his tanned, vascular arm and though his body isn't layered with a thick amount of muscle, it is clear that he is an athlete. From the little content he had on his Facebook page, there was an abundance of photos of him in baseball gear, making it quite obvious what his priorities are.

The car starts slowing down and I realize I was literally staring at him nearly the entire car ride and if he noticed, he didn't mention it. I look up to the house we pulled into. I am not entirely sure what I was expecting, maybe the cliche of the hot guy living in one of his parents three mansions or maybe living in a modern studio by himself because he couldn't stand his parents, but it wasn't anything like that. His house had a very southern farmhouse, cozy vibe with a wrap around porch and a large dog laying on the front steps.

Once I exit the car I look over to find him leaning against the hood of his truck, staring at me with an unreadable look in his eyes.

"You ready to get to know Mathew Xavier?" he asks playfully. I gulp and begin to question...

Am I?