Peter Parker & Tom Holland Imagines

corsets and courtships pt. 4

The sunlight beams through my window as I wake up, and I feel my heart drop in my chest as I recall the events of yesterday. Zendaya's look of pity and heartbreak is still etched into my mind alongside of Tom's warm gaze. And I don't know which one hurts more.

My cousin realizing that I can't allow myself to dream of happiness, or the love that I can't allow myself to have.

"Up, up, up, Your Grace." Lady Karina screeches as she bursts into the room as sour as ever. "We have a long day of lessons and wedding preparations to get to."

I groan and bury my head into my pillow. The covers are abruptly ripped from me, and I suddenly hate Lady Karina more than ever before. She watches me with an unamused glare and taps her foot in impatience as she waits for me to rise.

Something deep inside me tightens and snaps. "No." I state as I ball my nightgown into my fists. "I'm going to go spar. I've neglected my training and am going to spend my day doing something truly productive."

My feet press against the chilled stone, and I suppress a shiver as I move to my wardrobe. "I'm afraid I can't allow that, Your Grace. I am under strict instructions from your parents to--"

"Well, my parents aren't here. Which means, if they wanted preparations to be made, they should have thought to see to it themselves." I snap as I prepare my riding pants and a blouse. "Take the day off, Lady Karina, or attend to the preparations. I'll allow you a choice."

Her chubby mouth hangs open in shock. It makes a small ounce of pride that flickers through me. It tugs at the corners of my mouth until they create the ghost of a smile. "Have a wonderful day, Lady Karina!" I feign cheer as I rush her from the room and change without the disruptive aid of my lady's maids.

Of course, there's still a little bit of assistance needed, but once I'm fully ready, I make my way through the winding hallways. My mind drifts as I follow the familiar route, and I can't help but dwell on what Tom called me the other day.

My love.

It rings in my head like the grand bells. A part of me wonders if he is merely doing it to be witty, but even without knowing him too well, I know that's a line he wouldn't cross. Which leaves me thinking that maybe he meant it--truly meant it.

I pass the doors to the outside, and my footsteps instinctively hesitate. It's foolish, but a part of me screams to go out there and meet him like always. The rest of me tugs away. This road is likely to lead only to heartbreak and misery.

I'll marry someone else in two weeks, and one day, he likely will too. My heart will be owned by whoever he may be. And he will deserve my attention--and my love if I can give it. If I allow Tom to hold my heart, it's only going to cause more pain than severing ties now would be.

However, fate is a cruel woman.

I turn the corner, entirely determined to not see him again. "Y/N?" The familiar voice calls my name like the sweetest melody. I screw my eyes shut and pray that it isn't him, but there's no way I could mistake his voice. "I was just about to meet you." He whispers as he approaches.

"I'm sorry, but I've already made plans to train today." I tell him with a forced cold tone and sidestep him. "It would be a waste to not get some practice in while I have the chance. So I'm afraid I won't be able to meet you for our usual conversation today."

"Really?" A grin crosses his face, "Then I'll join you. My brothers and best friend are constantly encouraging to go, but I've never quite found the time. Perhaps today would be a good start."

I flex my jaw and want to scream at whoever is deciding to play with my life like some sort of game. "There's no way I can stop you. But don't be surprised if I don't go easy on you." Tom laughs and shakes his head as he offers his arm for me to take. A layer of sweat threatens to coat my shaking hands as I hesitantly accept.

We walk along in silence to the training grounds. The few fellow nobles we pass pay us no mind, likely thinking we're another courting, betrothed, or married couple. I hate myself for feeling disappointed that we're not.

I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts to truly process the deviation in our path. Although, it dawns on me as Tom guides us away from the usual paths to a less taken route. My heart races in my chest. If anyone were to see us, there would be horrible consequences--mostly for Tom.

It's a well known fact that the royal family is quite protective, which means that being the niece of the king poses an unusual situation. As a child, before I understood the way my world worked, I would imagine myself running away, joining a knight, and going on adventures. Then reality hit. First when my trainer was promptly fired from his position--all because of my family's fear that we were becoming 'too close.'

Best friends were ripped away from me. Some were shunned or disowned--all because of the appearance of an unapproved romance that wasn't even there.

If anyone were to discover us alone in this hallway, Tom would likely be harshly punished for 'taking advantage' of the Grand Duchess. I want to warn him, but the words get caught in my throat at the happiness so clearly displayed on his features.

He smiles as his fingers shift. The touch is light as a feather as he lifts them from the crook of my elbow. My nerves scream at me as those calloused fingertips trace down to my own ungloved ones.

It's the first time we've truly touched. Every other form of contact was civilized and appropriate with layers of fabric separating us. But this is different.

The look on his face only confirms it.

Amber eyes glimmer with hope, joy, and something else. I can't identify it, but I feel the same emotion rising beneath my skin. My heart shouts at me to interlace our fingers, to enjoy the action, but my mind forces me to whisper. "Tom," It comes out fearful and scolding. "You know that this isn't right. I'm getting married in two weeks. There can't be anything between us."

"Who says there can't be?" He questions as he curls his free hand beneath my chin and lifts it until our eyes meet. "We could get married, leave, and travel just like we dreamed."

Tears build in my eyes. The idea sounds more heavenly than the choir on Unity Day. Even the words of agreement taste sweetly in my mouth, but it's quickly replaced with a bitter taste. "Please, don't. You don't know what you're asking of me or of the dangers that we would face." I pull his hand away and relish in the warmth and comfort of it against my own. "If you care for me at all, I beg of you not to ask that of me."

"And why not, my love?" He whispers clearly worried and as upset as I am.

"Because if you were to ask, I would agree." The words fall from my lips before I can consider them. "And I don't want to see you resent me when the consequences come. We have to forget each other, Tom, pretend this was all a dream. It's all we'll ever be able to have."

His fingers loosen, and I take advantage of the moment to pull away. Sorrow billows in my chest, and there's a hollow pain that presses against my skin threatening to spill out. I hear him sigh as I leave but can't bring myself to look back. If I did, there would be nothing left of me at the sight of his heartbreak.

Tears stream down my face as I run through the maze of hallways until I reach my destination. I barely manage a full knock before the door is swung open, and Zendaya regards me with the same sadness that's echoing in my head. "Daya," I sob as I collapse into her arms, "why couldn't it be him?"