The Coalition (Book 1)

Chapter 59

Mara stayed by Shai's bed, holding her head in her hands, then, every once in a while, touching Shai's cheek with a finger like she was checking to see if the girl was still alive.

Aliah paced back and forth until he finally leaned against the counter in the tiny kitchen and rested his head on the wooden cabinet above.

Ellersly sat chewing his nails, spitting the pieces on the floor. He stopped long enough to say, "I hate the pendants more than I ever did."

Guilt twisted in Aliah's stomach. The pain radiated to his spine. He couldn't look Ellersly or Mara in the eye. He was responsible for all of this.

As he watched his mother care for Shai, a realization dawned on him. His mother already knew. And since Ellersly's memories were returning as well, it was only a matter of time before he knew as well. They would've found out Aliah's guilt anyway.

Suddenly Aliah couldn't breathe. The room was too small, the light too yellow.

He inhaled deeply then breathed out in a rush. The inside of his bitten lip tasted like raw meat. He pushed away from the counter and crossed his arms. Blame and guilt raged inside him.

He hated himself for going to Samael and agreeing to the pendants and he hated Remiel for disappearing when he might be the only who could help Shai now. And he hated Elchai for not being willing to see him before tomorrow. He'd never felt so helpless before.

He crossed the room to the door and paused with his hand on the knob. "I'm going for a walk. I can't breathe in here." He left before either Mara or Ellersly could comment.

The smell in the corridor assaulted his nose the moment he stepped outside the door. It hurt to breathe deeply and the cabbage-boot smell turned his stomach sour.

He walked head down, hands in his trouser pockets. The page in his waistband crunched with the movement of his hips, reminding him of the pain he'd caused everyone. He had to do something! Go to Gershom to find Remiel? Force Elchai to see him?

At the fork he turned left and the corridor widened and became brighter. If nothing had changed in the Center's Core he knew around the next corner the corridor would be lit with electric light, tiny bulbs strung on thin wire along the ceiling. Further on he'd pass the spot where he helped hang them. He had delighted in the trade his Sector had made with Adena, Sector One, the city of electricity. He had been eleven then. Happy and self-assured if not a little cocky. He grew up in Kent with only one rule: stay inside the Division boundary. But where there's a heart of rebellion, a rule merely becomes a challenge to overcome.

He shook his head and smiled to himself. He was a wanderer even then. He remembered that age of innocence. Dim memories of life in Lael, before the pendants, began to surface more rapidly. Memories of Remiel, Shai and himself. Memories of a silly game they played every night. He also remembered when the pendants had changed everything. Shai's zeal for life had been replaced with a hatred for Lael's rules. But because she inwardly feared the consequences of breaking those rules, she never did.

But Aliah lived and breathed rebellion. He thought the pendants potency had a lesser effect on him because, deep inside, he resisted the pendant's control. I guess that's what made me a good Watcher. Appearing on the outside to be following the rules while on the inside I had another agenda. Some would call that hypocrisy. But I call it protecting Shai.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. I'm a fraud. A liar. By keeping Shai from the truth I was really protecting myself from discovery. I am just like my father Samael.

Someone bumped into him in the corridor and mumbled an apology before they hurried away. He recognized Uli who held two aluminum-wrapped trays and carried a canteen under each arm. Hopefully Mara could figure out a way to get some water into Shai. But Aliah had no appetite.