only if for a night [ahkmenrah]

04 ▷ new sunrise

EMILY WAS SEARCHING for Larry with the intention of seeing how he was doing with the Huns, deciding to walk past the Neanderthal exhibit too, in case they'd set fire to something. When she approached the exhibit, they were all covered in foam, hopping around and flinging it at each other. What the hell happened here?

She moved on, not seeing Larry until she approached a seemingly empty exhibit — and that was where she saw ... Larry and Dexter slapping each other? And for some reason, Larry had white foam on his face. As amusing as it was to watch Dexter (who, Emily noticed, was holding the keys) slapping Larry, she knew she couldn't let it continue. Just as she was about to speak up, none other than Teddy Roosevelt appeared out of thin air.

   "Good lord, Lawrence!" He exclaimed. "Why are you slapping a monkey?"

   "Yeah, seconded," Emily chimed in. "I leave for five minutes and suddenly you're treating Dexter like a punching bag? Come on, man."

   "This guy's been pushing me and pushing me, and I'm sick of it!" Larry cried.

   "Poppycock," Teddy said dismissively. "This little creature is your primate brother. Without him, there's no us."

   "And, um, what's that on your face?" Emily asked, pointing vaguely at Larry's new foam beard.

   "Are you rabid?" Teddy asked. He pulled out a handkerchief from one of his pockets. "Wipe that off."

   "Still wondering how that happened, by the way," said Emily, who found herself wishing she'd taken a picture of it before he wiped it off. Then she remembered seeing the other exhibit on her way there, and asked, "Why is there foam all over the Neanderthal exhibit?"

   "I'll explain later," Larry sighed.

   "Lawrence, you have to deal with this creature with love and respect." Teddy approached Dexter, who still had Larry's keys tightly gripped in his little hand. "May I have the keys, dear friend?" Amazingly, Dexter handed Teddy the keys without even making a sound, then — surprisingly enough — jumped onto Emily's shoulder and perched there like a parrot. "Thank you. Lawrence?"

   Larry, it seemed, had had enough. "Well, you know what? You guys seem to know what you're doing, so I'm gonna let you take over."

   "What? No!" Emily cried. "You can't just quit, I can't do this by myself. I'm only part-time!"

   "She's right, Lawrence," Teddy agreed, "you can't put up the white flag now. The museum is on the verge of total anarchy."

   "I tried!" said Larry. "I came back tonight, didn't I?"

   "Tried? That was one night. I didn't build the Panama Canal in one day."

   "That's great, but I'm dealing with the most ridiculous job in history."

   "Yeah, okay, so this job might be ridiculous," Emily piped up as Dexter jumped off her shoulder and scampered away, "but, if you look at it, it's just like any other job — you have to keep trying before you really know what you're doing. Come on, Larry. I've only been here one night, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I can see myself really enjoying this job when I figure out how to make everyone get along. Please don't quit."

   "I'm sorry, but I just can't stay; it's too much," Larry said.

   Teddy cut in, "Some men are born great, Lawrence—"

   "Yeah, I know," Larry interrupted, cutting him off, "others have greatness thrust upon them. You hit me with that chestnut last night. The thing is, not everyone is great. That's the problem; some of us are just ordinary."