Diary of an Aspie Girl

An Aspie's Christmas

Christmas. A horrible time for me, me being an Aspie. All I can work out from Christmas is that we sit round a table with a stupid amount of people and make a foreign thing called small talk. Now, what am I meant to say to my gran? I'm sure it's something like "you look lovely." but all that comes out is "you're even fatter than last year."

Before dinner starts, we pull our crackers. This may be my least favourite part, with the unexpected bangs. I pull mine and I get a hat. I don't want to put the hat on. I tell everyone this but the hat must go on. After all the fuss of trying to get the hat on me, it rips. A whoop of joy from me a stern look from mum.

We eat a Christmas dinner in front of everyone. Starter is great, I have prawns in a bowl with prawn sauce. Delicious. Then the main meal.  Honestly, I remember telling everyone specifically "no gravy." but my plate appears covered with the sticky salty bitty stuff. I smile and pick it anyway. Pudding is always good, but the choice! So much choice.

After dinner everyone tells silly jokes that make no sense at all. Eventually it comes to my turn. Great idea ask the blunt Aspie with very little sense of humour to tell a joke. I sit there awkwardly and recite the joke my mother drilled in to me in a monotone voice . Everyone pretends to laugh. I can't see the point, I didn't tell it right anyway.

After that I find corner to rock and cry in until someone takes pity on me and loads up the computer. I zone out for a bit then get told to get off when the drinks come out.

I actually like this bit. I sit there watching everyone lose control of themselves and act funny. I'm allowed one, but that just makes my bad 'filter' non existent and every thought have comes straight out my mouth. We walk back home and I go to bed wondering what was to point of that.