The Dawning

Chapter One

One of the first things I could remember while I was little, was me thinking to myself "am I different?" all the time. I remember the stares that were given to me as I walked by them. Horrible awful stares given to just a child. To me. They whispered too, stares and whispers followed me as I grew up and that question kept going on repeat in my head. I didn't have anyone to ask it. No parents around that would lend an ear to listen to or perhaps a shoulder to cry on.

See I grew up as an orphan and since I had no guardians, I was sent directly to the Clan's training force. It was there where I learnt what we all were: demons. More specially the male sex was called incubus while the female sex was called succubus. We were to be trained and honed as we grew up, the ideal outcome was to become as much powerful as you could and go up the ranks of the Clan. Since birth, I was forced to grow up with my future already decided for me. At least, for twenty-one years. Growing up at the Institution was harder for me than any of the others. I didn't understand why at first, we were all the same kind, not like humans or any other beings but there was something that separated me from everyone else. Something that everyone else seemed to know about while I was left in the dark.

I thought I wanted to know the reason why my own kind would look at me with such disgust? It was lost to me up until one moon where I changed forms. Then everything clicked into place. The stares and whispers made sense. The bullying. The disgust.

I wasn't their kin. Their kind. I was an impostor. Dirty. A half-breed. A stinky mutt.

I knew that day why my parents gave me up. They were ashamed of me. My mother didn't want a half breed as a daughter. Did she hate me while she carried me for nine months? All that time did she know that she would abandon me to a fate of misery?

My treatment seemed to have gotten worst once I found out my bloodline. It was as if they knew that I had figured it out and now people became bolder and creative in their bullying tactics. Being chased as I tried to go to my room. During physical education my classmates would hurt me as we ran through some drills. I couldn't eat in peace during those days, and no one did anything for me.

No teacher. No clan member. No authority.

Because to them, I was stained.

I had no importance. No worth. I might have succubi blood but in their eyes, I wasn't whole.

The only reason why they kept me around was because they were curious if I would develop any powers. I could see it in their eyes, especially in my teacher's, that little spark of wonder that grew as they imagined the possibilities I was capable of.

At first, I wanted to show them that I was worthy of the Clan. I wanted to prove to them that I was just like them. That I was a succubus and that I didn't care for the other part of me. So, I studied all that I could about my brothers and sisters. I practiced daily in front of my mirror, trying to find power that rested in me. Trying to "feel" it.

I couldn't. I didn't know what I was doing. I felt like an idiot standing there in my room just staring into my mirror. And I remembered everything. Everything everyone said. And for the first time, I felt myself believing it. I wasn't worth anything. I was incomplete. A halfling. A dirty mutt. I started to hate myself in that moment and I just stared at myself.

I was seventeen that year and my eyes were empty. In that moment, I wondered what color were my eyes? It was dark in the room, nighttime, a lamp near my bed that I hadn't bothered to turn on, just a candle burned on my dresser. No windows. A little closet tucked next to the dresser. Everything looked grey in the mirror. Were my eyes grey?

I remember stepping forward, getting closer to the mirror, until I was inches away. I focused on my eye color and it was green. Dull but green. I went to sleep after that and the next day went on as usual.