Best Friends for (N)ever

Chapter 9

        *ALEX's POV

        "So, Traci, where's David? Haven't seen him in a while." 

        Mom choked on her salad. Oh, god. Heart beating fast, I smoother her back as she swallowed down and took a large gulp of water. 

        "Sorry," I answered. I gulped again, the longing feeling in my chest. It still hadn't disappeared after a two years. "He--he had some work. In, uh, Germany. Won't be back for a couple months."

        Mom stared at me in wonder.

        Well, I'm not telling him that my Dad, and Mom's husband has left. And he's never coming back. It's hard to come back from the dead, anyway.

        It was one of the main reasons we moved back here. We moved out because of something and the same something made us come back...exactly where we started off. I couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if we stayed. If somehow staying here would have solved everything. 

I guess not.

        No one could have anticipated it happening. One night I said good night to both my parents and the next morning he didn't wake up. 911. Emergency. Brain tumor. That's why we left. Mom. Her reason was right then. It hurt for her. It hurt for me too. But more for her. Dad was her life. I was her life. Half of her life disappeared in a matter of a few months. 

        "Germany, huh?" Rosa asked my mother, snapping me out of my reverie. We'd practiced this moment. Mom didn't want to tell anyone that my father had died. She wasn't ready. Sometimes I wonder if the fact that no one else other than us two know helps her deal with the pain. Because he's still alive in others' eyes and that was alive enough for her.

        Alive. Huh. I wish.

        There really wasn't much else to it. Mom was grieving. Three years, and still grieving. And she knew he was going to die. Sometimes I wonder if thats better. Knowing that your days are numbered to cherish every single moment, or living in the moment with no idea what could happen the next day or hour or minute. In the end I realized. It's not about living in the moment. Be. Prepared. That is all I need. I have to expect the worst and work from there. 

        Mom took a sip of her wine, as her other hand fidgeted in her lap. She nodded, with a tight smile. Rosa looked at her, suspicious. Even, Mom, master of the liars, can't hide everything from her best friend. Rosa didn't bring anything else up about it though. Maybe that's why they're friends. 

        And in a matter of seconds, the conversation quickly shifted to the recipe of the chicken. I tuned out, my eyes down on my plate. Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry anymore. I pulled down the piece that was lodged in my fork and started to twirl around the salad, not eating that either.

        "What's wrong? Don't like chicken anymore?" 

        I looked up, surprised to see Daniel was talking to me. His voice was sarcastic, but there was a slight tilt to it, as if teasing me or making fun of me. But that wasn't why I was surprised. He remembered that I loved chicken. Somehow that one little thing brought up a sliver of hope inside me. Immediately, as if on a relfex, I pushed it down. No, it doesn't mean anything. He doesn't care. Taking care to see if our mothers were not listening to us, I answered, raising an eyebrow. "What about you? Didn't get your fill of s-l-u-t?"

        At first, his eyes switched over to our moms, just as I had done before. When realizing they weren't paying attention, he leaned back in his chair, his eyes full of mischief. "Didn't realize you cared that much, Lex. I guess I could fit you into my schedule."