Why Forever Doesn't Last

Prologue

"Kenneth Jay" Reanne uttered my name with softness, full of pity.

She's lying here in this white room, fragile, and unable to move. I know I should be the one to feel pity;yet imagining my life without her is like I was the one dying in this stupid white room. I blink the tears that are starting to come out.

"Reanne, you love me, right?" I asked her.

"Too much." She replied. She grab my hand and kissed it. Her little gesture made the tears that I was holding to burst out of my eyes.

"Then fight. Live. Survive. Please." I was angry, wistful, desperate. I wanted to shout;yet, I wanted to weep my lungs out. Because I know what to feel, I have trouble what to do first..to either blame the heavens above, to beg for the heavens above, or just shout 'till I die. I don't know what's right nor do I know what's wrong. I can't differentiate pity from pain nor can I know the difference between good and bad. All I know is that I love the girl in front of me. I love this nagging brat. I love this annoying lady. I love this pale girl. I love this innocent, dying woman.

"I want to, but I can't." She started to shed tears, and smiled as if her words were comfort in my ears. She held my hand tighter.

"Shit, Reanne. Please, I'll laugh with your jokes, I'll be patient with your annoying gestures, I'll bring you to the carnival everyday, let you win teken advance, let you sing all night, I'll even let you cook, eat your sour and bitter recipes, and even let you burn the kitchen. Just live, Reanne. I beg you." My vision started to blur because of the tears that runs slowly on my face.

She wiped my wet cheeks, and smiled, "I don't want to kill you with my recipes. I mean can you live with it forever? Ken, I don't want you to change for me. I love you wholly, and I want you to love me wholly...and changing your ways of showing how much you love me, isn't just you." She paused for a while, closed her eyes and opened it again, "I love you. Forever." She loosed her hand on mine.

"Ken, just go." I sat there, stunned.

"You can't. Reanne don't." I looked at the doctor, and he nod at me.

"I don't want to see him...for the last time." She told the doctor. I gripped her hand, not daring to let go. "You can't." I don' t care if my voice was trembling. All I care about is her. I don't want to lose her, I can't live without her. She's everything I've got. She's my forever, and I only exist for my forever. I won't live without her. I just can't.