Life wasn't going well. Me and my family were living in the royal palace but being friends with the king himself didn't make everything perfect. My parents were in huge debts and the only way to save ourselves was to marry me. They found myself a husband who was the son of a rich citizen. I tried to say no because I already loved someone else but there was no other way. I had to do that.
I couldn't tell Hephaestion, my lover, about it. We met at the palace eight months ago, after Alexander became the king. At first I didn't notice him at all. He was just another man. I have never cared about any other man so why would he be different. But I was wrong, so wrong. His icy blue eyes slowly conquered me and made me feel things that nobody could do.
Since my parents' decision, I have tried to avoid him. One time, he came into my room while I was looking outside the window. I shivered when his arms wrapped around my waist and he leaned his head against my shoulder.
"Shh. It's me." he whispered and pressed a kiss against my cheek.
"You should leave, Hephaestion." I said, leaving his embrace.
"What happened? You don't talk to me like you used to, you don't spend the nights with me anymore. You act like you don't love me anymore. " He asked, looking curious at me as I sat on my bed.
"Just leave. It's better this way" I said.
"Come on, Y/N. Talk to me." He tried to move a lock of hair from my face but I pushed his hand aside, quite aggressively.
"Don't touch me. We can't be together anymore." I said as calm as I could.
"Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you?" He asked.
I took a deep breath and told him the truth. "I am getting married." His face shown a mix of emotions. I couldn't tell what was he feeling. Anger, sadness, maybe envy. He looked straight into my eyes and asked me who is the man.
"I don't know. My parents set up this. It's my duty." I said.
"You accept marrying a man you don't know. How about me, Y/N?" He shouted
"Please keep your voice down. Nobody knows about us and it's not the right time to reveal it. We have to stop this. Let's move on and let this affair to be just a memory. I have to be the perfect wife for my husband. I can't continue seeing you behind everyone's back." I said.
He huffed at me and had an ironic smile on his face. "Affair... So everything we lived; all those beautiful moments we had were just an affair. Stop lying to yourself! You will never feel for him the same. You will never make love to him like you did to me. I am the one who have shown you how to love. You don't have to say it, I know that I am the only one who you truly loved." He said.
"It's over, Hephaestion. I am promised to another man. You have to accept that. I did." I said trying to hold back the tears.
"You accepted it..." He laughed." I won't bother you again. But I am sure that the day before your wedding you will come looking for me."He said and then left the room, closing the door with a loud thud.
I broke down, crying the whole night. In two weeks I am bound to be married when my heart clearly belongs to someone else. I tried to keep myself busy. I helped with the wedding preparations. I checked the food, the decorations. I did everything that could keep my mind occupied. Hephaestion didn't come to me anymore. I thought his absence will make the break up easier to handle but I was wrong. I started looking for him in the crowds without even realizing it. I have met my future husband and I didn't feel a single thing. No emotion.
