Blinded by Black Bile

Chapter 2

Part 1: Before my own eyes

Thomas has still not opened up to me. It's been weeks, I don't know how long exactly but it's definitely been more than just a few days that I've been trying to gain his trust. Everyday, he just goes off to school without me and ignores me all day that he's home. I've been trying my best, but this small fragile boy won't confide in me. 
It was like every other day, I was in Thomas's room waiting for Thomas to get home. It was already getting late, but he wasn't here yet. I slipped under the door and squeezed myself out into the hallway and looked around, and froze when I saw Thomas's father staring right at me. Fuck. Did he see me move? I had squeezed through, but I still hadn't stood up. I was lying there like a rag on the floor.
"This stupid, filthy child leaving his damned doll everywhere." He grumbled as he bent down to pick me up with a beer in his other hand. Fuck. He didn't see me move, great. But.. is Thomas going to get in trouble for this? Thomas's father threw me on the couch that he's always on and turned the TV on.
The door opened quietly and when Thomas tried to sneak past his father, his eyes froze in panic when he realized his father wasn't passed out.
"Thomas."
The small fragile boy stood there, motionless. He was afraid.
"Sit next to me, boy."
Thomas slowly walked to the couch where his father was sitting on and sat next to him, still trying to keep as much distance as he could between him and his father.
Thomas's father picked me up and shoved me into Thomas's chest.
"Why was he outside your door?"
Thomas was confused, then he realized. He looked at me with a look of betrayal in his eyes. He knew I must have been caught trying to get out of the room.
"ANSWER, BOY."
Thomas jumped up and flinched and closed his eyes to let a deep breath out.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry daddy. I-It w-wont happen ag-again..." Thomas barely spit out. I could hear the amount of fear in his words. The poor boy could only handle so much.
Thomas's father wrapped his hands against Thomas's neck and squeezed harder every second. Thomas was struggling, letting out small breaths and moans escape his mouth.
"D-d-daddy....!"
Thomas's father's eyes lit up with anger. With furrowed brows he screamed at Thomas.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT. I AM NO FATHER OF A DIRTY CHILD WHO CANT EVEN CLEAN UP THEIR SHIT!"
He let go of Thomas. Thomas's small body hit the floor. His father towered over him as he unbuckled his belt.
"YOU USELESS DIRTY CHILD!"
He grabbed his belt and whipped it across Thomas, leaving small cuts and bruises immediately form on his small body. Thomas just cried and screamed for forgiveness.
I was just staring.
I couldn't move. No, this has to be some form of PTSD. I couldn't move at all, it was like I watched my father beat me when I was a child.
Thomas's father finally stopped and put his belt back on. Thomas sat there with tears streaming down his cheeks, puffy red eyes, and blood running down his small body.
"Clean yourself up."
Thomas stared at me with those big blue eyes. He couldn't believe I did nothing. I'm sure of it.
"And take your doll. Now SCRAM. Before I change my mind and give you another beating like you deserve."
Thomas got up, grabbed me and ran to his room before his father changed his mind. He locked the door and put the dresser in front and threw me against the wall.
He backed up against the wall and let himself fall, bursting into tears.
"Why didn't you do anything, Henry?"
I got up and tried my best comforting him.
"Thomas I'm so sorry. I promise I'll do something next time I just-"
"No you won't."
I was shocked by what he said.
"No one ever does. No one ever helps because it's not their problem. It's not them who are being beaten by their Daddy....No one at school helps. I've asked so many people to save me from this but they just ignore me."
I walked towards Thomas and touched his leg.
"Thomas I-"
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" He kicked me across the room and started bawling again.
"Don't touch me. I'm a dirty, filthy child."
Thomas wiped his tears away. He had that look in his eyes. It almost looked like he was dead with those eyes.
"Do you know what Daddy does to me....?"
"Thomas, I know your father hurts you, I've seen it-"
"SHUT UP!!" Thomas quivered.
"Daddy hurts me in other ways, Henry. Daddy says I look like Mommy."
Thomas put his chin on his knees and stared at me.
"Daddy... touches me.. in places he shouldn't.."
My heart fell to my stomach.
"He does it so much that it hurts to walk. It hurts to do anything. I feel s-so dirty..."
Thomas started crying uncontrollably, screaming and punching the dresser.
I couldn't believe what I heard. Emotional, Physical and Sexual abuse?
I'm surprised he's this strong to keep going on.
I walked up to Thomas and sat in between his legs.
"Thomas, I know I didn't do anything after what I saw, but it's not because I didn't want to do anything. I was scared, too. I was frozen. I know you were too, and I'm really sorry for letting you down like that, bud. But we're going to get through this. I will help you, okay? Please trust me this time."
Thomas sniffed.
"O-okay.."
"Thomas.. I know it might be hard to, but I need to know the full story. Can you tell me why your daddy became like this?"
Thomas nodded.

Part 2: Happiness before

Thomas got up and took out a picture of a woman who resembled Thomas. His eyes lit up immediately as he grabbed the picture from  the dresser.
"This is my Mommy. I kiss her goodnight before I go to bed."
He sat down next to me and placed the frame beside me. She was stunning, beautiful. Her skin was pale and smooth and her hair was silky, black and long. Her light blue eyes popped out, just like Thomas's did. Everything on her was perfect.
"Mommy got sick a lot. Uncle told me she had a weak body."
Thomas's glimmer in his eyes disappeared.
"Mommy met Daddy at a bar. Uncle said Daddy loved her at first sight. Mommy and Daddy wanted to have a baby, so they had me. Mommy got sick a lot when she had me in her tummy. She would bleed, pass out and cry all the time. When I was born, she had to stay in the hospital."
Thomas paused for a minute and gulped.
"I was only a little baby when my mommy died. My daddy was devastated. My mommy was the only good in my daddy's life. That's why he... he.. touches me..."
Thomas sniffed.
"Uncle doesn't know yet. He doesn't know that Daddy hurts me a lot.. I forgive daddy, though. I know there is some kind of good still inside him. The only reason he hurts me is because I was the reason why my mommy died." Thomas started fidgeting.

"I asked for help at school, but the teacher ignored me. After that, I never asked anyone. I shut myself out. I don't talk to anyone at school anymore. That's why everyone there thinks I'm a bad person, too. But it's okay. This has been going on for so long that I just... don't want to feel anymore."

I got up and put my hands around Thomas's face.

"Thomas, please tell me you're not thinking about killing yourself buddy. You're only 9."

"How am I not supposed to? I grew up faster than Mommy and Daddy and every kid at my school. Daddy does so many horrible things to me that.. I..." Thomas started crying. "I want to die. I have so many scars around my body, and they're all by him. I just-"

I sat back down in Thomas's lap and tried hugging him, but my body is just far too small.

"Thomas. Sport. You don't want to die, you just want to stop hurting inside. That's okay. But you know what's not okay? Hurting yourself and thinking it's okay to do all these things because you want to die." I grabbed Thomas's arm and looked at all the scars he had on it.

"I know for sure that these cuts weren't made by your father."

Thomas started crying even harder, and started to breathe irregularly. He finally calmed himself down and looked down at me.

"Y-yes.. I.. I know i-it's not okay to do this. B-but it's the only t-thing that makes me feel b-better..."

"Buddy. We're going to find something else that makes you feel better that isn't hurting yourself. You shouldn't let your dad control your life like this. I know it's hard not to but.. you can do it. If I did it-" I stopped dead in my words. I wanted to gain this little kid's trust, but my problems shouldn't be a part of his problems.

"Your dad also did this to you..?"

"Anyways, sport, the point is, I'm going to help you okay? But if you want this hurt to stop, you have to seek for help. So confide in me and tell me everything on your mind if you have to, okay?"

Thomas nodded.

I patted his back and stood up.

"Now, I'm going to flip your life upside down 'kay? Let's start by doing your homework for the night."

Thomas smiled and stood up. He scurried across the room to grab his school bag and plopped it on the bed. He managed to climb up and grab everything he needed.

 This kid.. it's as if he was my own. I suddenly grew so attached.

"What is 27 divided by 3?"

"Let's see..."

It was surely going to be a ride with him, that's for a fact.