Long La(o)st Friendship

Memory-1

"Anu...Anu...Back to Earth, Girl" My thoughts were disturbed by my friend Maya's voice. We both are friends since our 4th grade of schooling. She knew everything about me. It means E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Right now, we are sitting on the bay window of our room and watching the road side scenario. We were staying together scince a year now. I am Anamika Ravichandran, doing Architecture degree and my friend Maya Muralitharan, she is doing her BDS. Currently we are in  a year before our final year of studies.

She handed me a coffee mug and started the conversation.

"So, when are you planing to speak with him?"

"With whom?"I asked.

"Rudra Devan" she said. I remained silent. She understood my silence and started to give me an earful.

"Listen, girl. He is enjoying his life.Then why can't you?" She asked.

"Because he is not the one who is feeling guilty" I said.

"You are worrying for nothing" She said annoyingly.

"I know but I couldn't get over it" I said weakly.

"Stop saying that. Enough is enough. How long are you going to be like this? Already it has been 2 years now" She ranted at me. 

"Almost 3 years" I said in a low voice which is barely audible, even to me.

She looked at me confused and asked me "What?"

I said, "It is not 2 years its almost 3 years". She gave me an angry glare. Its time for me to shut my mouth and listen to her ranting.

"You are behaving like you have committed a crime" She said in an annoyed tone.

"Proposing your friend isn't a crime?" I asked back.

"You actually didn't propose, you confessed your feelings thats it" She said.

"What is the difference?" I asked her disinterestedly, and turned away.

She made me to look her and asked "Did you said 'I love you' to him?" I thought for a whlie and said "No".

"Why didn't you say those words to him?" She asked me curiously.

"I dint feel like saying those word to him" I replied her simply. And that is the truth I dint feel that kind of feelings for him. We had studied in the same school since kinder garden, not for once I felt butterflies seeing him, not for once  I  was lost while speaking to him, not for once I was attracted towards him. But you may ask why did I confessed that to him. All thanks to the people who were around me before 3 years. They used to tease me whenever I send a message to him or speak with him. Because he was the only boy whom I spoke with. Eventually I was attracted towards him. (Teenage problems you know). And I liked that feel. Now I regret listening to them. I regret every damn thing that happen to me.

"That is it, girl. You have the answer" again my chain of thoughts was successfully broken by my Maya's voice. I looked at her confusingly. She signed "Love is not something which can be forced by external factor. It should come within you.  I know what happen in your case. You need not worry about that" She explained.