The Struggle: 01/30/19

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Being a teenager is hard. Obviously being an adult is also hard and a lot more work, but being a teenager is difficult too. This is the age of finding yourself, starting to figure out your future, and trying to fit in with everyone else while doing those things. It's not easy to do those three things at once and when kids mess up just one of those things, they feel like a failure.

I myself struggle with the idea of the "future" being so near. At the beginning of last year there was one thing I was sure of, I was going to be a teacher. It had been a dream job for me ever since I was little and I had never questioned it or doubted it. Then junior year started. I realized that I loved kids but I loved teaching and working with them based on a one-on-one experience I had gotten while helping a little girl get ready for kindergarten over a single summer. I realized that with teaching, you don't really get that. 20 or more kids in a single classroom means that it can be hard to get much of that one-on-one time, meaning that teaching isn't for me. I have the patience for a few children but not an entire classroom full. Junior year started and I had no idea what I wanted to do after high school, when the year before that had been the one thing I was sure of.

I'm a little over halfway through my junior year and quite honestly I still don't know what I want to do. We're starting to schedule for our senior year and I have no idea what classes to take that will help me in the future. A part of me still really wants to work with kids, just more one-on-one, and is thinking about social work. Another part of me tells me to chase my unrealistic dream of doing a job that involves calligraphy or digital art. Another part of me has no idea and is starting to settle on the idea that I'll never know. The main issue is that I had never questioned being a teacher, which means I had never looked into another career I'd be interested in pursuing. Now I'm back to square one and it feels like most of my peers are about a hundred miles ahead of me.

So yes, I'm lost when it comes to what the future holds for me, but I'm also pretty positive I'll figure it out eventually. I still fit in with my friend group and honestly trying to figure out what I want to do with my life has helped me find out so much about myself. Maybe I'm failing in one category, but that doesn't mean I'm a total failure. It's okay to be unsure about things in your life. Looking on the bright side of suddenly deciding I have no interest in my lifetime dream job, I'd much rather question things now than after paying for college to do a job I won't like.

So, when you feel like you're failing at life just try to keep in mind:
1. There's more to your life than just the one thing (or even many) you might be unsure of.
2. There's almost always a bright side to a situation, find it!
3. It's okay to take your time to figure things out! If you don't take that time to do it right, you might just end up doing it again.
4. Ask or look for help. The internet is a crazy place that attempts to have a solution for most problems. There are also people that know you that would be more than happy to help.
5. Just because somethings going wrong right now, doesn't mean that it will forever.

I know what it's like to feel like you're a failure, been there and done that multiple times. The thing is that life is about figuring out how to be who you want to be. Maybe that's something as small as are you the kind of person that eats sugary toaster strudels for breakfast every morning or the kind of person that grabs a piece of fruit on the way out the door. Maybe it's something as big as what job you want to spend over half your life doing. These questions don't have to have one, immediate, straight answer. Don't give up trying to find the answers just because of that, it can be difficult but it's worth it. This is life we're talking about, it's a big deal!

Life isn't straight forward and easy for anyone, no matter the age. Maybe in ten years when we look back we'll laugh about how things were easier than they are now, but that doesn't mean that in the moment things are as easy as they should be. Being a two year old that can't talk properly is hard. Being a teenager forced to figure your future out while still growing is hard. Being an adult that has to pay bills and work all day and everyday is hard. The reason things seem easier in the past is because you're struggling with different things now. Maybe those things are harder but in the moment that you're struggling with something, that's the hardest situation you've ever been in, which is why it seems like the past was easier, it doesn't include your current struggle.

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Hey guys! So if you haven't figured out by the description of this book I'm basically gonna post things I would put on a blog if/when I make one. Please leave any opinions on this work so I can try to improve it! I'm not sure what all this book will include but it'll probably be things similar to this chapter so hope you liked it! -K

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