A Monster's Heart

Part 4:What do I think?

"Emmeline! I fulfilled a wish! Mix up a ginger-beetle cake!"

"But Papa, it won't be ready until after your meeting tonight. Remember? You're getting a contract for your brilliant invention!"

Boppa gasped. "The miracle pill! I had forgotten about that completely! If you'll forgive me raiding your cleaning supplies, Emmie, I need to dust the dungeon and make sure it is perfect shape for tonight."

"Oh boy! Isn't that exciting, Rainy? Boppa made a special miracle pill! Let's eavesdrop on the meeting tonight and watch him get a contract to mass produce it!"

So at 5:15 that evening, Chaney and I sat there on the stairs watching Boppa through the spindles as he talked to three men. If you told his 'miracle pill' what you wanted to drink and drop it in a cup, it would immediately dissolve into whatever liquid you wanted. But it only worked with a glass cup.

"And now my good sirs just tell this pill whatever you like to drink," Boppa screeched. He looked utterly demonic with his white lab coat and his hair sticking out everywhere, half-covering his misshapen face.

The CEO got this weird look on his face before he turned to the two board executives who were with him and said, "Maybe we should have thought this through."

The one with the white-streaked red hair looked at him and said, "Well it wasn't my idea to come investigate this 'miracle pill' without doing a background check on this guy that just so happened to be a madman living with the rest of his mad family in this creep-shack of a house."

"Awww! Isn't he just the sweetest!?" My sister gushed to me.

"No, you little idiot vampire!" I thought palming myself in the face. "That's not a compliment!"

"Alright my good sirs!" Boppa puffed up looking a little offended that these men didn't believe him. Can't say that I blame them though. "I will demonstrate for you how this works. Give me a Bloody Mary!"

With that, Boppa dropped the pill into a goblet. It dissolved immediately into a thick red liquid but I had to wonder exactly what Boppa's version of a Bloody Mary entailed. The three men stared at the glass for at least 26 seconds before the CEO took the glass from Boppa and tried a small sip of the stuff. "This is certainly something. I don't know if I've ever tasted this version of a Bloody Mary."

Boppa looked confused. "There's nothing unusual about this drink. Type A blood mixed with crabapple-and-orange juice with some garlic-and-roach seasoning for that extra special kick."

The look on the poor man's face matched the way my stomach probably felt. Oh, it was probably surprisingly good (like the rest of the dishes Mom seemed to make in this house), but to hear you just drank that sort of concoction was probably a lot to take in. The CEO didn't say anything but just walked out of the house without a word with a dazed look. I felt sorry for him, but if every day was like this in the Lande house, I knew I would never be bored.