Life: The Way I Am

Pain

Everyone screws up. It's part of life. But how do you fix what you break? The truth is, you can't. No matter how hard you try, it's impossible to truly fix what's been broken. And yet we all try so hard, why is this so hard to deal with, we all question. We try, and put Band-Aids on bullet holes, sew up rips and tears, do our best to fix what has been broken, but even when we do, it's so fragile, as though the tiniest tap would break everything. So why do we try?
Because we care. People and objects and places are so important to us. Even when things hurt, we still do our best to help and fix, even when we can't fix ourselves and choose, instead, to help those around us however we can. So why do we do this so much, why not just give up and not care?
Because when you truly care it's hard to give up, it's hard to leave it all behind, even when it's better to. It's thorns stabbing you when you hold the beautiful rose. It's breaking yourself to save the ones you love. It's so much more. This might make no sense, I might be crazy, but everything is meaningful. I can't stop caring for people, neither can you, not unless you didn't care in the first place. So why does there involve so much pain in the joy?
Because without pain, how would we know joy. We can't, not truly. If everything were boiled down to the bare minimim, I bet the things you'd notice the most are the pain and joy. I wonder if you could ever be happy if you didn't have a struggle, or feel pain, or didn't have a broken moment. If you could do anything, what would it be? Would you erase the pain, get rid of it? Or would you leave it be, continue on with your battle scars, become stronger get for it? How is it possible that we just live like this, and choose so differently? How do we survive as a race? How can we even live with the truth of everything? I don't even know the answer. I don't think anyone does. There's always pain and joy and love and hate, so much in the world that is good, evil, both, neither, and how can we even know what is right when we don't know what to go off of? How can we help others instead of wound? How can we heal? How, how, how. Why, why, why. What, what, what. Where, where, where. Who, who, who. We focus on such unimportant things, make big deals out of the little things, and miss the joyful moments that could be, hurt the ones we love. Why do we focus on the bad, instead of the good? Why do we harm instead of heal? Will we ever truly know? I don't know. All anyone truly knows is now. But what if it's all wrong, what if all we've ever done is the wrong thing? And yet, we're still here, we still do it all the same. We don't know the truth of anything, in any way. We do t know if the words we use are correct, we don't know if the way we act means anything, we don't know what possibilities there truly are, we just don't know. It's impossible to truly know. And I think this is where I leave off. Be careful what you do, for it may be a mistake, and you might hurt the ones you care about the most. And with that, I will leave off. Good luck to you all.

~A Lost One