A Beautiful Day To Save Lives - Jackson Avery

Chapter Ten

Later that day, Ophelia had dressed and undressed in the black attire she had brought for the meeting that evening. She still didn't know if she was going, still didn't know if she could bare it. She walked out of the building, skirt of her black dress swishing at her knees, heels still clacking on the pavement. She stood at her car door, staring, thinking, trying to decide. The board room upstairs surely already had lawyers present, and some of the other doctors as well. She knew Mer was up there, somewhere. Maybe she was wondering where she was right now. Maybe she wasn't. She unlocked her car door, locked it, unlocked it again. She should just go home. Go home and get the hell away from this building for a little while.

But every time she tried to open the car door, she stopped herself. She just couldn't make herself climb into the vehicle and get back home. Home. That was what she called it now, even though it was technically Mark's home. She took a deep breath, followed by a shaky exhalation. She was going to that fucking settlement meeting, wasn't she? Her own body wouldn't even let her do otherwise. She took another deep breath and wondered if she could do it. If she could choose money over...whatever the other option was. Sue the shit out of the aviation company? She didn't even completely understand how this business went. She just knew it was complicated and messy, and that she didn't know if there was a right answer in a situation such as this.

Mer had told her how much money the company was willing to offer, to each individual, to settle. It was a lot. A lot a lot. She could take time off and travel the entire world. Multiple times. With that kind of money. She could go to all the places she had always wanted to go, the places she had never gotten to see just yet. But it wouldn't replace Mark. No amount of money in the world would bring her brother back. And that was the kicker, wasn't it? No matter what she agreed or didn't agree to, no matter where she worked, who she tried to befriend, what research she tried to read, nothing would bring her brother back. And that was what she really, really wanted.

But if everyone else voted to settle -- and it had to be unanimous -- what sort of enemy would she make herself to say she couldn't take their blood money? She put her hands in the pockets of her peacoat and walked back over to the facade of Seattle Grace, looking up at the building. Some of the lights were off now. It was 7:45. Fifteen minutes until she was either there or she wasn't. Fifteen minuets was all she had left to decide if she would show up. If she would say what was on her mind. Say that money won't fix the problem, money won't make anyone held accountable. She knew the others wanted to settle. She knew it. So could she be the one to ruin things for everyone else?

She stood there, hands in her pockets, thinking for a moment. As she exhaled, her breath fogged the air around her. It was cold, but she didn't care. For now, she would stand and wait. Wait for her feet to make the decision for her. She shivered a little, she had forgotten how brutally cold it could be in Seattle, with all the moisture which clouded the air around her.

"Hey," a voice behind her broke through her thoughts, as she stared up at the glass front of the hospital, thinking about all of the things which had happened there, all of the things her brother had done. His notes. The method he was working on. Getting calls from her brother at night where she could hear the announcements coming over the PA. The selfies he sent. All the sweet, gentle things he said about Lexie Grey, the way his voice changed when he spoke about her. The way he looked at her when he woke up. The tears began to wordlessly slip down her cheeks. She didn't even turn around to see who was calling out to her, though she would have known that voice anywhere. That man was the bane of her existence here, so why wouldn't he show up at one of her lowest possible moments?

God her life felt like a fucking joke some times. Couldn't she just have a moment of peace? Just one. all she wanted was one.

And then he was there, next to her, hands in the pockets of his own, soft grey jacket, looking up at the same hospital as she was. His breath fogged the air along with hers, and for a moment he didn't speak, didn't interrupt her deep thoughts (though there was no way he could know that his simple presence made it impossible for her to think clearly). He just stood, mere inches from her, not knowing her entire body was internally lighting up like a Christmas tree because he was so nearby.

"What are you doing here so late?" He asked her finally, quietly. "I thought you were done two hours ago?" She had been, he noticed. She could feel him look at her out of the corner of his eyes, then look back up at the hospital in front of them.

"I was," she replied. "I was done at 5. Can't seem to make myself leave, though." She didn't know what else to say, how to explain the dreaded weight hanging heavily on her shoulders, threatening to break her apart completely. How could anyone understand the sort of decision she had to make? Except for those already up in that room, and it seemed they were ready to just give up.

"Oh," he replied, not asking anything else. He was waiting, she realized, for her to talk, if she wanted to. He wasn't going to force her into an uncomfortable situation. He was being...kind, after the way she had treated him at work. So kind. Though, when she thought about it, when she let herself, he damn well better have been kind, after how he had treated her.

"The settlement meeting is tonight," she explained, her mouth moving before she had a moment to think about it or not. It was like a wave had washed over her and she could do nothing but speak the truth, do nothing but let it all out.

"We, um, we have to decide. Decide whether or not we take a deal, get...get essentially paid to stop fighting the company that killed and hurt our families," she said, tears still silently trickling down her cheeks. She didn't even bother to brush them away at this point. "And it's just not fair, you know? We just put...put Mark's body in the ground." Her voice broke as she spoke those last words.

Then suddenly, he closed the distance between them. He didn't face her, he didn't hug her, he simply put one arm around her waist, nestling him into the side of his body, sharing his warmth. "I know," he replied calmly. "It's not fair. To anyone."

Lia nodded, still looking up at the building. "I think they all want to take the deal." She whispered after a moment, letting her biggest fear of the moment slip out into the cold air and hang there like a net. There. She said it. She didn't want to settle, and her words implied as much.

"And you don't?" Jackson asked, even though he already knew what her response would be. Of course she didn't. She wanted to fight. Nothing would bring her brother back, but taking money to make the problem go away...if it was one thing he knew about Ophelia Sloan, it was that she would never run from a problem like that.

"No," she said quietly. "But...it has to be unanimous. They might all hate me, if I tell them I won't sign the deal. Won't take the money. They have...some of them have kids, that money could really help."

"Lia," Jackson sighed. "Out of my entire life, the biggest lesson I've learned is you have to speak your truth. So you need to go up there and say what's on your mind, for better or for worse, as long as it's your truth."

Lia thought on that for a moment, the two doctors standing still in front of their quiet work place, warmed by one another against the cold air. And she knew that he was right. Of course he was. It seemed like he was always right.

She turned and looked up at him, finally. "Thank you," she whispered, and then her feet carried her into the hospital. Into the elevator and up and up and up and towards that boardroom.

Her hand grabbed the cold door knob and she took a deep breath, hearing his final words in her head once more. She pushed the door open and stepped in. Every head in the room turned and looked right at her.

She took a deep breath, and began to speak.