Even Demons Need Caretakers

The Cake Quest

It all began with that dumb cake. My queen got a cake thrown at her, that's what put me on this quest again. I'm on this SAME quest for the 31st time. I'm on this SAME dusty road. I guess I should explain more. I'm on this quest to slay the Demon King that lives "near" our small kingdom. He doesn't live near at all! It's extremely far away!

Anyways, my name is John, John Gillian. I'm the only and most cowardly knight in our small kingdom. My kingdom is called, halp. My queen has become impatient and this time, I'm not allowed to return she'll have my head, and I want my head! So, I have no choice but to slay this dastardly king.

My eyes hurt, because of this horrible wind blowing the dust into them. I can feel the sun burning me, but I can't complain, because then I'll start wanting to go back because I'm scared, and then I'll go back and then I'll DIE, but if I go there I'll have to fight the wrath of the Demon King, barely win, then DIE or lose to the Demon King, which means I DIED.

"Walking, isn't it strange, walking is so natural but running is a controlled fall. Should I run over there and get this over with," I whispered to myself. So I ran to the half way to the castle. My queen was extremely generous and had equipped me with food and water. I decided to have a small picnic in a beautiful field of flowers. It had flowers of every kind. They were strangely alluring. I went and checked my map when I noticed something I hadn't before on it, a small cluster of what looked like flower doodles, "Huh?" I whispered to myself. I looked at the intricate ball of calligraphy next to it. "What in the heck does that say-" then I blacked out.

I woke up later, with a note on my chest, it read in neat handwriting,

"You must be new to traveling, you passed out in the Field of Fainting Flowers. Next time, be more careful. - A passerby."

"So that's what it said!" I said to myself, regretting taking the time out of someone's day to assist me. After many more hours of walking, I see the sun get blocked and it's warm rays extinguished by ominous dark clouds, dark clouds that lingered. That is my sign that I am nearing the King's castle.

I can see it in the distance, the tall, black, looming, terrifying, mansion. It's very presence was intimidating. I had only gotten this close one time before, the very first time I went, I was younger and stupid, and I was filled with a false bravery I was right outside the King's door when I felt the full force of the intimidation. After that I ran full speed all the way back to the kingdom but I'm not like that anymore. I got so close to the mansion I was now on the strange red road, the sign that I was only 10 horrible steps away from his wrath. I walk those ten steps proudly, mustering up the most bravery and courage I could. I have to do this. No matter how scary, intimidating, frightening, powerful or angry he is, I have to fight him. I knocked on his humongous door and to my surprise it slowly creaked open.