A Monster Just Striving For Love

Chapter One (One Year Later)

Noah
The car stutters a bit before shutting off, the heat draining out and leaving me tucked into my oversized sweatshirt. The early December morning is a blur of gray and white, swirling around in a flurry of snow and cutting off all traces of the sun. Gloomy and dismal, my kind of day. I stumble out of the car, slamming the frost-covered door behind me and walking lazily toward school, letting out a huge yawn on the way. My face is caked in makeup, masking up the fresh bruises from this morning. I left in a rush, more eager to get to school than most. Especially when it’s only 20 degrees out.

But kids still linger outside, few because most fled to the warmth of indoors, leaving only a few scattered groups. I cast a look at my watch. Fifteen minutes until the first bell rings. My mind is blank of ideas of how to spend the spare time. I barely have any friends, being marked as the weird quiet kid in school, and even though I ate about nothing this morning, I fear that going out will make me late.

   I sigh, looking over at the small masses of teenagers swarmed around each other. To no surprise, it’s mostly the self-absorbed popular kids, but instead of their usual mocking tones, astonishment drenches their voices, eyes on a boy in the middle, one I’ve never seen before but feel like I have. He’s tall, with curly black hair brushing against porcelain skin and an enlightened smirk breaking the gloom of the morning. A kid with lemon hair leans on his shoulder, whispering something to him. The boy lets out a laugh, light and mellifluous. A tingle trails up from my toes and rises up in my stomach, heat creeping onto my cheeks like tendrils of inner flame.

   Girls chuckle, pointing at him and cooing about his looks. Boys slap him on the back, greeting him as they would a good friend even though they’ve just met him. He responds in kind, nodding along with their chatter, but his focus seems to be elsewhere. And I guess I was staring too long because his eyes soon find mine and I jolt at the sudden feeling of his gaze.. His eyes are grey and sharp, and strangely alluring. I want to break away and run inside, but oddly I don’t. I just keep staring. He stares back, and to my wonder, his lips ever so slightly, twitch into a smile. I smile back for a moment before returning my gaze back to the ground and barging through the doors.

   I swear I’ve seen him before. Somewhere. His face just seems so...familiar. I can’t pinpoint where I would’ve met him, or what his name is, but I’ve still seen him. I know it. And he acknowledged me. Most ignore my presence, I’m not worth their time. But he saw me and smiled. It makes my heart leap even though he probably just did it because he doesn’t know that I’m not important here. Or anywhere to be honest. The people he’s currently hanging out with will tell him who matters here, and I’m way far down on the list. But that tiny sliver of hope still wriggles inside, and I can’t help but grab onto it.

   I slide my backpack off my shoulders and shove it into my locker, retrieving my English books and all the other stuff I’ll need before shutting it with a slam, resting my forehead exhaustingly on the cold metal. I roll up one sleeve of my sweatshirt to reveal a rubber band on my wrist. I edge a finger under it and pull it up, snapping it back down on my skin with a small hiss escaping under my breath. It brings more pain but relief along with it and takes out the anger thrashing in my heart.

   I look at my watch again. Five minutes. I stand up, eyes darting cautiously around the hallway. People still crowd it, teachers yelling at unbridled students and ones playing on their phones instead of at least trying to get to class. I shut out my mind against the sounds of banging lockers and screaming students and keep my head down and shoulders up, failing miserably to make myself invisible. Someone would’ve thought I was a master at it by now, but a body knocks into me, throwing me off balance and giving them a chance to push me to the floor. Pain shoots through the back of my scalp, and my books tumble from my hands, clattering onto the floor. Two boys above me snicker, kicking the books farther away from me and fixing me with a steady, mocking glare. One of them is the blonde kid from earlier, the one with the new boy. The one I’ve sworn I’ve seen before. But he’s nowhere to be found. Just his new buddy and one of his thugs. I sit on the heels of my hands and shift away, reaching for one of my books, but the guy stomps on my fingers, and I fight the urge to leap up and punch him.