In her eyes

Chapter 1

"Anak wag mo namang gawing kawawa ang sarili mo. Mag aliw aliw ka." Hindi rin naman ako sasaya nang wala siya kaya mas mabuting wag nalang.

"Ma, we already talked about it. And of course you already know the answer." I sat down as soon as I reach the edge of my bed where my mom is sitting. It's not that I don't want to have a normal life but  still I can't be normal and be happy without the girl I've been looking for how many years now.

Do they expect me to have fun and drink an alcohol until I get unconscious, or taste every girl I see and throw them after being sick of it. I never wanted to be call a bastard. In this society normal life for them is when you go to the bar and spend your whole night there with those persons that you don't know. I'm okay with my life and continue searching for her.

"Have you forgot? When you were still blind no one wants to donate an eye for you even those dead persons, but there's someone who knew your condition and she let you see the world. Anak bakit di mo yun gamitin ngayon. You're lucky that you were given a chance. Use it." I already know that. Mom is always reminding me this. I can't even count how many times she said this.

"Yeah mom, of course I do remember that. Because I said I could finally see you and Dad and of course Crystal." Hinding hindi ko malilimutan ang araw na binalita nila sa akin na may nag magandang loob na ibigay ang kabila niyang mata.

My parents were very happy I could here their voice saying that finally God answered their prayer. They really want to thank the person who donated this eye but then the doctor said that the donor wanted to keep that as a secret they said that it's confidential. And my parents asked a favor from my doctor that they wanted to sent their thanks.

But for me I was happy with other reason, when I heard about the news I immediately told manang that I wanted to call Crystal and so she did. But she said that it was out of coverage so I tried to call her for how many times but she just won't answer. So I promised that time that right after the operation I'll go to their rest house and visit her.

"Alam mo ba Kyle kahit hindi ko nakilala ang donor mo malaki parin ang pasasalamat ko sa kanya. Kasi kahit papano malaking tulong ang naibigay niya. And I'm also thankful na minsang dumating sa buhay mo si Crystal." I look at my mon the moment she utter her name. I was shocked ngayon lang siya nag banggit nang tungkol kay Crystal dahil alam ko namang iniiwasan nila iyon ni Papa, they don't want me to be cage with the past.

I looked at her with a hint of confusion. "Kasi the moment she enter your life nag bago ka kahit bata pa man kayo non malaki ang naging epekto niya sayo. She save you from being drown." My mom smiled at me alam kong malapit na siyang maiyak.

"Do you still remember nung bata ka pa hindi ka mahilig maka halubilo sa tao even with us; your own parents. At pag hindi mo na e-express ang sarili madalas kang mag wala." Yes that is true I rarely talk with my parents and with other people around me.

I'm always frustrate and I always asked the creator why me? Of all the people in this world why me? Until Crystal flip the page of my story with a beautiful journey. She taught me to accept whatever i have in life and be contented for being alive in this world. She gave color to my dark world.

What more could I ask for with a girl full of wisdom. "She keeps telling me that I should accept and free myself. But right now I may be physically breathing but I'm actually emotionally dying because of her absence." With that words my mother can't hold it back anymore, and she cried because she actually feel me.

"Son never deprive your happiness and freedom to love another. Didn't you said that she taught you the word accept, so do it now kyle." Sapo sapo ng aking ina ang aking buhok habang pinapakawalan niya ang mga katagang yon.

"May Crystal forgive me mom, but that's the least thing I couldn't accept." I said firmly. Kailan man hindi ko nakita ang sarili kong tinatanggap ang pagkawala niya sa piling ko.

"Looks like I coudn't do anything with your decision Kyle. Hindi kita pipigilan kung ipag papatuloy mo ang pag hahanap sa kanya. But let me just tell it" she stopped and look me intently so I also look at my mom ready for the words that she is about to say.

"Peolpe do always come and go"It actually hit me, 6 words but a meaningful one.

Pagkatapos niyang sabihin yon ngumiti na siya at tumayo na. " Anyway take care of yourself we'll be leaving for our business trip. And we'll be staying at our house in Manila. Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" She asked me again for the nth time. I know she doesn't want me to feel alone but I fine here.

"I'm fine here mom it's actually peaceful here in Baguio. Away from the wild society." She looks hopeless and finally gave up.

"Okay I understand. Just call us if you need anything." I just smiled at her and guide her together with dad into the gate.

"We'll be leaving kyle."Dad said in his usual firm voice but I know he mean it.

"Take care dad. Look after mom for me." Dad knew how much I value girls and their dignity I salute them all.

"You do really love your mother don't you? I'm jealous son"We laughed together it's our one way of saying that we love each other. We hugged in a manly way and bid our goodbyes for the last time.

---

I am currently watching a television show when the wind from our window become more refreshing. While feeling the wind biglang tumunog ang door bell.

"Who would come at this time?" I asked myself as if someone will understand me. So I just walk into our door and to my surprise no one is outside, I tried searching for any shadow but to my disappoint there is none so I assumed that it's just a kid trying to annoy me.

Bumalik nalang ako sa loob at tinuloy ang panonood ng telebisyon. But then again someone hit the doorbell again, and I was wondering who is it this time.

Pagbukas ko ng pinto wala na namang tao kaya bumalik nalang ako sa loob baka mga batang naglalaro lang.

After how many minutes I was relieved when it didn't sound anymore. Kanina pa ako palipat lipat ng channel pero wala namang magandang palabas kaya pinatay ko nalang at tumungo sa kusina upang ipag handa ang aking sarili ng makakain.

While waiting for the food to be cooked my imaginations filled with Crystal. What will my life be if she's beside me? Will we end up together if she's still here? Maybe I will smile recently if she's here. My thoughts stopped when I heard the familiar sound of our door bell for the third time.

Again I walked in our hallway but this time with an irritate face. The moment I open the door I directly speak "What's your problem? Can you please--" my words were cut off when I see a girl wearing a white dress, standing in front of the door and smiling widely. I can't understand it but I feel like my heart is about to explode when I stare at her.

"Hi can I come in? I'm--"