Bonus Chapter #2

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The spots where Anti touched Mark, burned on me.

Marks POV

I laid staring at the ceiling. The shouts, screams, and giggles of my husband and children made me smile. Only for moment. I have no right to feel this way. I'm happily in love and have amazing kids. There are people worse off than me, but... I'm not. I feel as if I'm trapped in my own brain. I wanna cry, but my eyes are dry. Inside I'm sobbing and yet, outside, it's as if nothing's wrong. I'm not usually like this. Everyone knows that but, somethings wrong today.

'You're not worth it' 'You don't deserve him' 'You messed up his life' 'You can't make him happy' Those phrases echoed inside my brain. More and more phrases echoed. I close my eyes for a second yet it feels like an eternity. "I could never love your Mark!" "I could've done much greater things if you were around!" "You don't deserve my kids." "I never wanna see you again!" I open my eyes in a cold sweat. I start shaking uncontrollably. I take a deep sigh and tears slide down my face. 

I place my head in my hands and I feel them filling up with my tears. A soft knock comes to the door. "Mark?" I quickly wipe my eyes to look normal. I feel as Jack sits on the bed and starts playing with my hair. I turn to him and force a smile. 

Jack's POV

The rooms dark but not completely. I can see his red eyes and his wet hands. "What's wrong?" I try not to make a big deal but I'm worried. "I'm fine. Just tired." He says. "Mark..." I say softly. I put my hand on his cheek and he leans into it. I feel as the tears run down my hand. Mark holds my hand with his. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "For what?" "For not being good enough. For messing up your life." 

I'm taken aback. I feel as my mouth drops and my eyes widen. I lift his face to see my eyes. "Why would you say that?" He opens his eyes as tears stream down it. "I fucked up your life. You could've been a millionaire going out every night. You could've had a Ricky dinky apartment with your friends. You could've been living your life like someone in their 20s should be." He shudders. "Instead you're here taking care of three children and a husband who doesn't even deserve your love." 

I feel my heart drop. 'Does he really think that?'  I'm trying so hard not to be mad but, I can't. "Mark." I look at him intensely. "You're my world. Those kids out there, our kids, are my world. I don't want a rinky dink apartment, I want you. I am living my life how I want to in my twenties." I huff as he scoffs and tries to push me away. I pull him in a hug. "Mark. You're my life. I don't want to imagine what my life would be like without you. I'm absolutely in love with you. I'd shout it to the world but you already because you are my world. Those kids out there love you to death. Mary made a tiny box Tim for you. Nate trying to color his hair red with a crayon."

I take a sharp inhale. "By god Abe has your eyes! Those are our kids. We made those, more or less. I didn't think it was possible but everyday I fall more and more in love with you. Mark.... don't ever think you aren't good enough or you fucked us my life. You gave me a reason to love, you gave me a reason to live. You are my reason." I lay down and Mark curls up in my arms, wrapping his around my waist. I play with his hair and run my fingers through it. 

"Sean..." "Yes Mark?" "I love you." My heart skips a beat. "I love you so much Mark. More than you could ever know."

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